


How to Make a SOLDIER

by windyways



Series: Works Property of ShinRa Electric Power Company [1]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Female Reader, Mystery, Slow Burn, the crisis core characters need more love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-05-14 00:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19262686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windyways/pseuds/windyways
Summary: Sephiroth, ShinRa's strongest SOLDIER, is sent to assassinate you on behalf of the company, yet he can't seem to find the strength to kill you, especially since you appear to know details about his past that not even he's aware of.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a note, I’m ignoring the timeline between Crisis Core and FFVII and am taking inspiration from both games. I've been meaning to write Sephiroth from the beginning, so this was only a matter of time. I seriously didn't expect to ever write a work with chapters, but after writing almost 1,000 words of Sephiroth just standing in a room with his arms crossed, chapters were inevitable.

Sephiroth stood in the ShinRa board room, waiting for the SOLDIER Director, Lazard Deusericus, to return. It wasn’t like the Director to keep anyone waiting, especially _him_ of all people.

The room was silent and still the same way Sephiroth was. Even when he was relaxed, he looked like he was at attention. He didn’t shift his weight from side to side and his feet were a little less than shoulder width apart, legs straight but knees never locked. His sword, Masamune, wasn’t in his grasp, but it could be summoned at a moment’s notice. The blade was his weapon of choice, and yet, he could manage just fine without a sword. He’d familiarized himself with every type of weapon the cutting-edge company had to offer, being able to wield and defend against everything. Naturally, that meant the engineers always wanted him to put their newest inventions to the test which he found amusing, so much so that he would frequently have his two friends Angeal and Genesis join him to really wreak havoc. Might aside, he’d been told by a number of disgruntled employees that his sharp tongue was just as much of a weapon as any and could cut just as deep as his sword. In truth, he usually meant to be honest and professional without having to hide away parts of his personality or intending to cause harm to others, but it didn’t seem to matter, and he always slipped up sooner or later. While it left him quite unpopular with a few ShinRa employees, most of them found his personality magnetic. He thought it was strange but didn’t linger on it.

Sephiroth sighed inwardly and crossed his arms, silver pauldrons rising with his shoulders as he readjusted. He’d heard from a colleague that when people crossed their arms and it was not used to intimidate or assert power over others, it was a self-soothing act that was more often than not used in public settings. The more people that were around and the more uncomfortable the person, the more likely they were to do so. Quite literally giving yourself a hug, they’d said. Of course, the colleague had been a Turk, someone who relied heavily on the silent messages people were constantly transmitting with their bodies. He thought about that conversation every time he found himself bringing his arms to his chest, simply acknowledging what he was instinctively doing and never stopping the action.

It must have been extremely important for Lazard to leave after summoning him there, Sephiroth thought. At least, that’s what he hoped. While he wouldn’t openly admit it (cockiness was Genesis’ game, not his), he was the most important person at this company. The SOLDIER program had been built around him, and he was the poster child of the company. Young men from all over idolized him and often joined SOLDIER to be just like him. The company had flourished from his prowess in battle making them an unstoppable force. Many didn’t agree with what ShinRa was doing, killing the planet little by little as they exploited its resources, but most were too afraid to speak up or powerless to do anything. ShinRa had a hold everywhere, much like a virus. Because it was so influential, if a town didn’t agree to have the company set up shop, they would be significantly worse off. Sometimes its trade partners that were backed by ShinRa would cut off ties – pressured by the company, no doubt. The game was to leave the town financially crippled until they had no choice but to agree. It was very hard to say no to ShinRa when it was so good at twisting civilians’ arms to the point of snapping. Like Wutai, there were instances when an entire country would rise up against ShinRa’s influence, but it was only ever a matter of time before they were silenced. The infantry was always sent straight in, followed by the SOLDIER division of the company as problems arose. The 3rds would go in first, the lowest ranked group of SOLDIER, but terrifying nonetheless. They weren’t just battle-hardened militants. Infused with Mako, power drawn from the planet’s Lifestream and processed by ShinRa, it was more appropriate to think of them as superhuman. If problems persisted, the 2nd Class operatives would be sent in before, finally, the 1sts became involved. It was certain death if things came to that.

There were only three of them at the top of the ladder, and while Sephiroth was the strongest and most famous of the trio, neither of the other two took their jobs any less seriously. They truly were a force to be reckoned with.

Sephiroth found that he frequently forgot that the company’s name was, in full, ShinRa Electric Power Company.

What power company needed an army? That couldn’t be normal, but he’d never known any others. ShinRa had no competition but still, no other businesses had armies. Sometimes, he wondered why he did what he did, and every time it crossed his mind, he chalked it up to one reason: Because it was the only thing he knew.

The chatter of angry men approaching the room drew him back to reality. Lazard entered the room followed by several arguing men in suits. From the company’s executive board, no doubt. They wore suits like the Turks, but never saw battle, only numbers. That’s all the SOLDIER members were to them: numbers, pawns to be moved around on a board and called in for menial tasks akin to errands. Any hint of danger, and they always requested Sephiroth come handle the situation or protect them if need be. How they squandered his time infuriated Sephiroth to no end. The feeling of distaste was mutual as the only thing the executives ever were to any of the uniformed men were Suits. Balding, fat old men who felt they controlled the world with a pen. The fools. Where would they be without all of the hardworking individuals below them?

The Suits stood together in a lopsided, compressed semi-circle and faced Sephiroth. Lazard picked up a piece of paper with an image paperclipped to it, shifting that paper around in his hand.

“I apologize for keeping you waiting. Thank you for making time to meet this evening.” Lazard held out the page to Sephiroth. “I have a new assignment for you, something a bit different from your usual work.”

Sephiroth kept his arms mostly folded, moving one forward just enough to take the paper before drawing it back to its crossed position and examining the paper.

“A picture of your target is attached as well as her personal details. I wouldn’t ask you to accept this task if it wasn’t of the utmost importance. We’ve sent several others out to eliminate the target before you – Turks, 3rds, and 2nds alike – yet all have failed to complete their mission. If this weren’t so important, it would be almost amusing. It’s rather convenient she’s still alive, wouldn’t you think?”

“Reason for termination?” Sephiroth flicked his glowing eyes up from the paper to look at Lazard. His eyes always appeared to be scrutinizing and laser focused. They were blue with hints of green, a cold, piercing quality to them. _“Mako eyes, a SOLDIER trademark,”_ his comrade Zack had put it once.

“Your target is a previous ShinRa employee. Not too long ago, she left the company abruptly with quite the handful of extremely sensitive documents and decided to make them public. Every time the company gets them removed from sight, the papers are republished, and it’s been painting us in a very bad light. That is the unfortunate reality of the situation--” Lazard looked over to the not-so-quietly grumbling Suits as he finished.

One of them stepped forward. He was an older man, short and round with a dark, thick mustache. What hair he had left on his head was equally dark but appeared less intense next to the angry red flush covering his entire face.

“Enough with the damn pleasantries, Lazard! I want this pain in our ass disposed of! You were a fool to think anyone else would be capable enough to finish such a simple job!” The man scoffed as he slandered Lazard and the people who’d been sent to complete the assassination before.

Sephiroth shot them a hard stare. “Many of my colleagues are perfectly capable of completing whatever extraneous tasks you should have for them to do. You’re sorely mistaken to assume that I have the time to be at your beck and call to make sure each one is done appropriately, and if they are not, then perhaps that is a management issue, not a staff issue. You’d be just as foolish to assume that I have the patience to wipe up after your messes every time you spill.” His words were calm and cool, a touch of venom coming forth as he delivered the final sentence.

The Suit turned redder as if his head might pop. “This stupid little woman has our company by the balls! I want her squashed, and I want it done now!”

“And if I refuse?” Sephiroth knew the power he held as the highest ranked SOLDIER member, and he was more than willing to use it to backhand this man just for being bratty. With dignity, of course.

Lazard cut in before the Suit could answer again.

“For the sake of everyone here, it is in our best interest that the woman is removed from the picture and that the files are recovered.” It was all too apparent why Lazard held the position of Director and no one else did. Even if Lazard wasn’t his favorite person, Sephiroth had considerable respect for how the Director did business and managed the SOLDIER program. Because of that, he pondered taking the small yet monumentally important task upon himself.

Sephiroth shifted his gaze back to Lazard. “You want her dead so badly but you have yet to send in the infantry or drop a bomb on her. Why?”

Lazard shook his head. “As I said, the content of these files in very sensitive and the company could very easily fall out of public favor if read. To have the documents in the open as well as us causing a major scene all for the sake of ending one person’s life would certainly seal our fate. We have the potential to lose massive amounts of workers and resources should this conflict go unresolved.”

The was a long silence as Sephiroth processed everything that had been said and made his decision. “Understood. I’ll leave tomorrow,” he finally agreed. Another grumpy Suit muttered expletives under his breath as the SOLDIER left the board room, ones Sephiroth pretended not to hear to avoid ending all of those pesky, whiny men then and there. He stepped into one of Shinra’s many long hallways, now dark since the night had set in.

He walked a short distance toward one of the open lounge areas. These were small sections of hall where couches and tables were set up for use at any time during the day and by anyone. Waiting for him were the two other 1st Class SOLDIERs, his only friends, Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos.

While Sephiroth had never known his mother, Angeal had naturally taken that role upon himself the moment he became a 1st. He joined the ranks with ease alongside Genesis, his childhood friend from the warm climate town of Banora. Angeal was from a poor family on the island, but he never let that stand in his way of achieving anything. If nothing else, his humble upbringing made him the extremely dependable, honest, and capable man he was presently. He frequently took time to lecture anyone who would listen on what it meant to have honor and how the Buster Sword on his back symbolized his family honor. The most common recipient of these unsolicited monologues was his personal project, the 2nd Class SOLDIER, Zack Fair. The speeches often ended with him admitting he was too cheap to buy a new sword, and that’s why he rarely used the one he carried around for so many years. Why didn’t he simply use the sword and be done with it? _“Use leads to wear, tear, and rust. And that’s a real waste.”_ Zack had just about rolled his eyes out of his head when he heard that.

Angeal spent much of his time acting as a referee for the other two when not lecturing. As smug and cool as Genesis usually was, he was far from immune to Sephiroth’s playful yet constant jabs and taunts. It wasn’t just the taunts that set Genesis off, it was that they were usually coupled with his jealousy of Sephiroth’s crushing success and fame. Sephiroth knew all too well how to piss him off just enough, a happy medium between annoyed and blind rage, that usually led to the two clashing swords in one of the training rooms. Sometimes Angeal would try to stop them, but usually he’d just shake his head disappointedly and intervene if things got out of hand. Genesis tried to blow up Angeal’s face the last time he tried to interrupt, leaving the dark-haired man sour for days. _Why did he associate with these two again?_ he’d asked himself repeatedly. After Genesis and Sephiroth were finished blowing off steam, Angeal would take it upon himself to forcibly banish whoever’d ended up getting hurt to see the nurse and have their wounds disinfected. Seeing the medics was something both Sephiroth and Genesis hated equally, and it brought some degree of amusement to Angeal to watch them squirm at the prospect.

Genesis, on the other hand, was a far cry from his longtime friend. He was the flashier of the three in looks alone, donning bright red gloves and a long red coat to match his red hair. He was extremely skilled in swordsmanship (his rapier’s blade also red), and tended to use magic to accompany his attacks, preferring fire over anything else. Angeal was pretty sure the red hair, attire, and use of fire was simply Genesis’ fiery temper manifesting in a physical form, but Genesis would never give him the satisfaction of a straight answer. His temper was jarring to experience, but, fortunately, it rarely made an appearance. Only once had his friends had to physically restrain him during one exceptional meltdown. Sephiroth had grabbed him into a full nelson which he very nearly broke free from as he attempted to keep charging forward while Angeal tried to keep all weapons out of reach as well as save the training room from burning to the ground.

Despite his rare outburts, Genesis was known to banter with Sephiroth and was generally collected, especially with his favorite book _LOVELESS_ in hand. An epic of three friends seeking “the gift of the goddess,” he was constantly immersed in his book – the same book he’d re-read way too many times. His particular copy was a Collector’s Edition that was bound and covered in black leather with gold detailing. There were signatures inside from popular actors who were currently putting on the stage version of the tale and several ticket stubs were tucked neatly into the spine of the book. He was an honest, reliable man who was fiercely loyal to his friends. Despite being a bit of a hopeless romantic and a smooth talker, he tended to clam up around other people, large groups and strangers alike, in much the same way Sephiroth did. If anyone was the social butterfly of the group, it was Angeal.

Sephiroth took a seat on the sofa next to Genesis, Angeal sitting across from them. Genesis smiled without looking up from his book and started reciting one of the pages.

_“There is no hate, only joy / For you are beloved by the goddess / Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds / Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul / Pride is lost / Wings stripped away, the end is nigh”_

Genesis lifted his eyes from the page to watch Sephiroth. Not that he needed to read the words. It was only natural that he had the whole book memorized. What kind of fan would he be if he didn’t have every word permanently etched into his psyche?

Sephiroth snorted and smiled in amusement at his friend’s test. “ _LOVELESS_ , Act II.”

“You’ve stayed true to your studies.” Genesis closed the book and put it into a pocket stitched to the inside of his coat.

“No, but I hear you reciting _LOVELESS_ in my nightmares almost nightly. How could I forget such terror?” Sephiroth smirked, Genesis rolling his eyes slightly at the jab.

“What were you assigned this time?” Angeal leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees as he watched his two friends.

“I’ve been asked to assassinate someone,” he stated plainly.

Genesis leaned back into the couch, one foot crossed over his knee and both arms crossed as he relaxed. Crossed arms. There was that self-soothing action, Sephiroth noted.

“Isn’t that what Turks do? Sounds like you’re wandering into someone else’s territory.” Genesis shook his head, clearing away stray hairs from the front of his face.

“I was thinking the same thing. Death is inevitable in war, as was the case in Wutai, but one single kill order is very particular and even peculiar for a SOLDIER member.” Angeal was right, but Sephiroth wasn’t sure he cared that much about the strange case anymore. Once the job was done, he wouldn’t have to hear anymore about it. Though the contents of the missing files did interest him and were an ever-present itch in the back of his thoughts.

“The Suits insisted I take it. Apparently, I’m dealing with one hell of a target if they need to come all the way to me to get it over with.”

“Sounds like this is a no-BS mission with an experienced target. You ready for a fight?” Genesis looked at the ceiling, pondering the design of the tiles, before returning his gaze to his friend.

“Always.”

“Glad to hear it. When do you leave?” Sephiroth should have bet money that Angeal would ask that. He truly was like a mother, though he didn’t mind the attention and felt that Angeal was a plenty good replacement for the one he was lacking. Not like he’d ever admit that though. These two truly were his family, not just his brothers-in-arms. He made a mental note to tell them later that he appreciated their support and friendship, something he sometimes wondered if he deserved.

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Got it. Let us know when you’re back. I’m sure Genesis is up for another round in the training room.”

“I’m always ready to show up this clown,” Genesis taunted.

“I could never refuse an invitation.” Sephiroth watched his friends get up from their places next to him, Angeal eyeing the paper.

“You should get reading. It’s already late, and you have some studying to do before you head out.” Angeal nodded towards the report. “Don’t be gone too long either.”

“But of course, mother dearest.” Sephiroth and Genesis grinned widely as Angeal scoffed and shook his head. “Farewell, friends. _Even if the morrow is barren of promises / Nothing shall forestall my return.”_

“ _LOVELESS_ , Act V. Written by yours truly.” Genesis proclaimed, jokingly holding out his arms to either side and bowing as if receiving applause from an audience. “That’s my line, you know.”

An annoyed _tch_ escaped Angeal. “Enough of that. You’re starting to sound like Genesis. One of you is bad enough.”

The two laughed as Angeal made more annoyed sounds before leaving Sephiroth alone in silence, Genesis following him out. How good it had felt to see his friends. Finally, it was time for work before he rested. He switched on the lamp that was placed on the table beside him. The report included your photo and some basic information such as your height, age, and a more in-depth physical description. There wasn’t much included, but it was able to tell him that you’d worked as a doctor for ShinRa not too long ago. He still wondered what they could want with a doctor. He took note of the fact that your last known location was in the Midgar slums in Sector 7 and after a bit of time studying your profile, he picked himself up and headed off to his living quarters, paper in hand.

He would end whatever mess this was tomorrow with a quick swipe of Masamune.

-

Sephiroth didn’t change his attire despite how obvious he was against the drab setting of the slums. He didn’t want to talk to anyone and wanted even less to be interrupted while in the middle of work. He silently thanked the years of training that let him go unnoticed in the shadows.

The slums of Sector 7 were a truly disgusting place. Built on stilts, the ShinRa company building sat high in the air, well above everything else which meant the only place left for the citizens of Midgar to reside was underneath the plates. The area stunk of unspeakable things, and trash littered the muddy streets. He couldn’t figure out how they were always muddy since no rain was able to get here with the plate blocking the sky. The plumbing in this area was bad, but perhaps a water pipe had burst? What else could cause the dark dirt road to be soft, squishy, pungent—he aggressively threw the thought out of his head before he could even finish it and decided to focus on something else, scraping the bottom of his boots underfoot against a dry patch of road.

He took note of the places you supposedly frequented; a pitiful market, questionable living situations, and a bar called 7th Heaven. He paused his steps. A small part of him was relieved to see the bar, something that almost resembled a normal building. He continued down the road a moment later, slowing as he got to the ‘street’ that was supposed to be yours. The soft rhythmic _thump_ of his heavy boots sent a muffled echo through this quiet part of town. At least the road was dry here. He grimaced at the thought and shuttered ever so slightly.

Sephiroth finally came to a stop in front of what was described as your house. “House” wasn’t the appropriate word. It was pathetically small and was closer to a shack than anything else. It was apparent, however, that despite its sad appearance, someone had tried to make it homely. Though dull, the small house – cottage, perhaps? – was remarkably clean. Whoever lived here had attempted to make a front yard for themselves. A flimsy-looking aluminum fence made a rectangle around the space in front of the house. A metal table and two chairs had been placed to turn the yard into a seating area. They’d been welded to small metal plates on top of a cement slab to deter anyone from taking them as they passed by.

What really caught his eye was the line of shrubs that lined the inside of the fence. They weren’t alive, nothing ever was down here, but made of salvaged scrap metal and seemed to exist somewhere in between the two realms of yard art and plants. He took a long moment to admire the different shapes of each of them. It must have taken weeks, months to complete the entire project. This had truly been a labor of love.

Eyes forward, Sephiroth returned to the task at hand and walked closer to the house. Inside the yard, he noticed much of the background noise was blocked out. Was that the shrubs’ doing, perhaps? He pushed the front door open without a second thought, closing it behind him to keep any **other** unwanted guests out.

The inside of the house was just as clean as the outside. It appeared to have three small rooms that included a bedroom, a bathroom, and a common space. The common space was in two part, the kitchen space and the living space. The kitchen had a fireplace, various cooking appliances, and yet another table with two chairs, one of which had been turned to watch the fire. The living space had a couch that faced the front of the cottage, a single chair, and a desk. Some strangely shaped metal junk was sitting on the tiny worktable along with various papers in a messy pile. Most of the things inside the small space were mismatched, but nothing was dirty, and it was apparent that everything had a place to try maximize what little room you DID have.

There was a fire burning in the hearth, a kettle hanging from a bar above the flames. There was a small sound from the bedroom before Sephiroth watched you walk into the main area, still at his place in the doorway. You looked straight at him, brushing your hands together to dust them off as you continued walking to the fireplace.

“I see you already let yourself in. I’m making coffee if you want some,” you said much too calmly for his liking. It wasn’t that he’d wanted you to panic, but more that you didn’t seem at all phased by the danger that stood less than 20 feet away. He could have done a better job to hide himself from you no doubt, but all of the commotion in the board room the day before had made him wonder yet again why this was such a big deal. What were these sensitive documents you’d taken? Why had you taken them and why did you continue to republish them? He looked you over as another question came to his mind. YOU were what ShinRa was having such a hard time getting rid of? Why was that? You didn’t appear to be a skilled fighter whatsoever. He remembered that you were a doctor. Definitely not a fighter. If that was the case, why couldn’t the people sent before him deal with you?

Sephiroth met your gaze when you spoke again. “Are you going to brood in the corner all day, or come in?” You walked to the table with two mugs, setting them down before sitting and waiting once again for the kettle to whistle as the liquid inside heated up.

He made his way over to you and stood next to your chair, that curious itch in the back of his mind returning with more intensity than before.

“Lazard Deusericus sent me,” he finally spoke, holding out the photo of you that had been included in the report. You took the photo and examined it.

“Yeah, I know. He’s very thoughtful and sends me company about once a week, but now, I’ve been honored with the presence of ShinRa’s favorite SOLDIER himself. I must be moving up in the world.” You handed the picture back to Sephiroth. He raised one brow, slight as it was. You sure were relaxed for being sought after that frequently.

“Sit. It’s rude to loom over people.” You pulled over the other chair without getting up from your own and put it beside you.

His curiosity was overtaking any sense he had to get the job done and report back to headquarters. He adjusted the chair before sitting down and crossing his legs, facing the fire but watching you.

“So, are you here to stab me, Sephiroth?” He watched you cross your arms. Self-soothing, he noted. It told him that you were at least a bit nervous that he was near you. “I assume you would have done it by now if you had actually intended to, and I would have been none the wiser, yet here we are. We both know it’s foolish to engage with someone you’re supposed to kill. Better to off them before there’s any chance of getting attached. Unless you’re like a cat and enjoy playing with your prey before killing it?”

You knew his name? That was stupid. Of course, you knew his name. Everyone knew his name. He was the single most talked about person in town if not the entirety of Gaia for his power, speed, and cunning in the field among other traits. Despite that, here he was sitting in a shack with a most curious target.

“I haven’t decided yet,” he answered. You shook your head.

“Don’t rush yourself. I’m not doing anything tonight, but I imagine that even if I did have plans, you wouldn’t let me go.” There was a slight mock to your words, but they were sincere.

“Correct.”

“That’s what I thought. I help out at a friend’s bar sometimes, but she didn’t need me tonight. It’s called 7th Heaven, just across the way.” You indicated in the direction of the bar with your thumb.

Sephiroth gave a slight nod, recalling that he’d walked past it on the way to find you. “You seem awfully relaxed for someone with a price on her head.”

“I don’t fear death. Not anymore, at least. They told you why they want me dead, right? Because I stole some important papers?” You continued after getting a soft grunt in response. _Boy, this one sure is a chatty Cathy_ , you thought. “I’m not afraid because I knew what I was doing that day. I knew that the second I picked up those papers and ran out the door, I would be hunted nonstop for what I’d done. I made my peace the instant I took them.”

“This explanation sounds rehearsed.”

“That’s because it is. Honest, but rehearsed. I’ve told it to every ShinRa personnel who’s been sent to my house to kill me. I must be doing something right, because they never choose to kill me after I’m finished with my explanation.”

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes, considering your words. The kettle whistled, prompting you to get up and remove it from the fire. You poured coffee into the two mugs you’d placed out earlier and handed one to the strange man in your home, keeping one for yourself. He felt strangely obligated to take the cup and accept your drink. Why did social graces matter at a time like this? You sat back down and took a swig of the hot, dark liquid.

Sephiroth did the same, and nearly gagged.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his undignified response, taking a moment to compose yourself while grinning widely. How unbecoming that was for a man who seemed to be so graceful.

“I know, it’s bad, but it’s colder than usual today, and I needed something hot to keep me warm. I mostly call it coffee to make myself feel better. More accurately, it’s a pinch of coffee in a pot with a strange medley of other questionable substances. Might as well be drinking gasoline.”

Sephiroth placed the mug of heinous liquid down on the floor, intent on not even looking at it again. The interruption aside, he had to find out more about you. What was it about your actions that stopped the others from ending your life?

“These documents seem to be incredibly important to the company and to you as well to be constantly publishing them. Tell me, what do they contain?”

You smiled slightly, a bit of energy gone from your face.

“That’s the question I was waiting for. That’s what they all ask, and it’s the question that changes all of their minds.” You wrapped both hands around your mug and gave it a light squeeze. “The papers were sealed research journals about human experiments that were done within the company. I didn’t think in my wildest dreams though that I’d be telling this to one of the people in the notes.”

Sephiroth stared at you, his brows knit together. He searched your face for any hint of a lie. There was none. Whatever you were saying, you were telling the truth.

“Human experiments?” he repeated.

“That’s right. The experiments that created the SOLDIER program.”

His heart stopped for a moment. What were you going on about? Human experiments? SOLDIER? He was referenced in the research journals?

“In truth, I came across the research logs while doing work one day. To say that I found them by accident would be inaccurate, but they were not at all what I was expecting to find.”

“What do those papers say?” he demanded. He wanted to know how he was connected to any of this.

“Sephiroth.” The name was foreign but not unwelcome on your lips. “You’re going to need to listen to me. Those papers are filled with very heavy information. I won’t deny you the information that’s in those pages but know that it should be received in pieces. I read some truly horrific things in there, and if they’re not given time to sink in, I’m afraid it could truly drive someone mad.”

“How do I know you aren’t lying?” An odd part of him wanted to believe you. An even odder part of him already did.

“Like I said, I have nothing to hide. I published the papers to help the public, to stop the flow of people to ShinRa. The people don’t seem to care enough about the planet dying to do anything to stop all of this, but having their children be extorted is something else entirely. Who in their right mind would support a company that does tests on unwilling subjects? What mother would let her son go join SOLDIER? What father would agree to work in a place that might snatch his daughter away for who knows what? I want to starve ShinRa of the one resource it needs the most, the one that has the consciousness and strength to retaliate: humans.”

You watched Sephiroth’s searching eyes as he once again took in everything you said. The extended silence was deafening, but you waited patiently for him to break it.

“Receiving the information in pieces,” he finally spoke again. “What do you suggest?”

“Before you leave, I’m going to give you a small piece of information from the texts. I want you to mull it over and really chew on it. Come back in a few days, and I’ll tell you something else. Whatever you do, do not do any research outside of these sessions. You won’t be able to stop yourself from taking in every horrifying detail all at once, and that would be dangerous.”

He considered your offer. He could easily enough ransack your house to find the mysterious papers that had led to so many questions gnawing at him. Yet, he decided to do as you suggested.

“Fine. I want my information then.”

You paused before nodding. “The 1st Class SOLDIERs specifically were infused not only with Mako energy like the other SOLDIER members but Jenova’s DNA as well.”

“Who is Jenova?”

You simply shook your head.

More silence.

“Understand that if I have any reason to suspect foul play from you, I will hunt you down, and kill you without hesitation.” You saw right through his threat. His mind was clouded with uncertainty. That was to be expected. You simply nodded.

“It’s a promise.”

With that, the man got up from his chair by your fireplace and left without another word. You sat in silence for a moment, taking another sip of your “coffee.”

War inevitably meant civilian casualties. He’d cut down too many people like you before without even batting an eye. And all the same, he couldn’t find the strength to summon Masamune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far! It seriously means a lot. :) Sephiroth is one of my favorite characters, so I only want to do him justice as I explore other possible outcomes for his character. He just has so much potential. If you've read my Genesis oneshot, [THAT CONFOUNDED POEM](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19211374), you may have also seen the Easter egg I left in this story regarding it.
> 
> A huge thanks to [Shierusowl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shierusowl) and [Superhero_Wannabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superhero_Wannabe) for being my editors and cheerleaders as usual! You guys are seriously the real MVPs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth returns to headquarters after meeting you in Sector 7, finding himself extremely troubled by the tangle of events he just found himself in. Genesis notices his friend's distance and offers his support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super excited to be posting the next chapter! It's a bit shorter and seemed to take on a life of its own. Starting this one was a little more of a struggle, but I'm having a lot of fun writing this even though the pace of the story is pretty slow.

Lazard nodded, unphased as Sephiroth reported back the next day. He wasn’t the least bit surprised to hear that Sephiroth had succeeded and that things had gone off without a hitch. He was, after all, the strongest person ShinRa had to offer. He never failed. He had no equal in battle.

_Target too powerful for Turk dealings_

_Mission aborted: target incorrectly identified in report_

_Target’s location unknown – insufficient data for tracking_

_Target’s whereabouts unknown – not in specified location, unable to track_

_Mission aborted: too many eyes_

Sephiroth read through the feedback page of the missions before his and recognized a few of the people by their handwriting alone. Reno, Tseng, and Zack, two Turks and a 2nd Class SOLDIER, had all been sent after you. He etched their names into his mind as he took a pen and scratched out his own mission notes, adding it to the others.

_Target eliminated – papers’ whereabouts unknown_

The Director was relieved as he read through the bizarre list he currently had in his hand. He wasn’t a stupid person and was well aware of the fact that for whatever reason, this had never been an ordinary situation. For so many people to fail at killing one _civilian_ was astounding. He slid his hand under his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. The Suits had demanded his head on a platter, and he would finally be able to talk them down with the written proof of the mission’s partial success.

The documents had not been recovered, but at least there was no one left to publish them anymore. He’d give it a day or two before coming up with the best way to move forward. With a curt nod, Lazard dismissed Sephiroth and filed the paper away for the meantime.

-

Sephiroth had never lied in a mission report before.

He thought about this as he left the room and started down the hall. This certainly was turning into a bizarre experience. He could have easily told Lazard that you were still alive just to piss off the obnoxious Suit from the day before, yet that would have raised all sorts of suspicion. Sephiroth was too capable for something like that to happen. In the end, he would simply be re-assigned to kill you and questioned yet again if he still hadn’t ended your life. The last thing he wanted at this point was for you to die before he’d gotten every word of what those pages held from you. He had to know what was in those research files, their contents in full.

“You appear contemplative today.”

Genesis appeared at his friend’s side and matched his pace, his hands in the pockets of his pants. Angeal wasn’t with him this time. Probably in the middle of something. The company adored Angeal since he didn’t seem able to say “no” to them. The behavior concerned Genesis and Sephiroth, both of whom had their reservations about ShinRa. They’d told him before not to let the company walk over him, but he couldn’t help trying to make everyone happy. “ _Always the skeptics,”_ Angeal’d told them. Despite their comfortable living, Sephiroth and Genesis understood that in an inexplainable way, their situation was fragile. It was public knowledge that ShinRa was threatening life on Gaia and yet, it felt like the company was withholding still more reality-shattering information. It was a constant shadow that followed the 1sts, Genesis especially. He was extremely perceptive, and it never took much to tip him off. He had a hunger for knowledge that was unparalleled, part of why he constantly tore into _LOVELESS_ , looking for any missed clues or other possible ways to interpret the words. His instincts were rarely wrong, and while Sephiroth had initially found it hard to accept that someone should trust their gut reaction before thoughtfully analyzing a situation, he’d come to trust Genesis’ intuition with his life. Those same instincts were undoubtedly why Genesis was here now.

“I like to think on occasion. But only on occasion. It’s very tiring for someone who’s only good at swinging a sword.” Sephiroth smirked and tilted his head from side to side, stretching his neck as if he’d just woken up from a trance.

“Why would you do that? They didn’t hire us to use our brains,” Genesis teased, a smug smile on his face. That much was true. While Lazard treated the SOLDIER members as breathing, capable humans, the Suits often forgot or chose to ignore that fact. When assigning missions, the Director only ever gave the SOLDIERs an end goal, never a step-by-step process. He refused to tell them how to do their jobs – he lacked the experience in the field to do so anyway – and trusted them to figure out a way to get their work done on their own. _He truly was good at his job_ , Sephiroth reminded himself.

“No, and we can’t have ShinRa assuming we think for ourselves now, can we?” Sephiroth brushed a hand quickly through his hair, taming a few stray strands and sweeping them away from his face.

“Absolutely not.” Genesis scoffed before turning his head slightly to give Sephiroth a sideways glance. “How did your mission go?”

Sephiroth didn’t answer right away. It was only a breath of silence, but that’s all Genesis needed.

“It went off without a hitch.”

“You’re not a very good liar,” Genesis removed his hands from his pockets and stopped walking, completely facing him now. Sephiroth stopped as well and met his gaze. “Tell me, friend, is this a conversation for closed doors?”

He didn’t want to lie to Genesis, but he felt a bit strange telling him what had happened. As conflicted as he was, he knew that his friend always had his best interest in mind and decided against shutting him out. After lying on a mission report though, this wasn’t the time or the place to discuss it.

“I’m afraid so,” he finally answered.

Genesis took the hint and swiftly changed the topic.

“Did I tell you I went and watched a performance of _LOVELESS_  last night?”

“I’d be surprised if you weren’t in attendance.” Sephiroth shook his head and continued walking, making his way to the elevator. Genesis followed him inside.

_“My friend, do you fly away now? / To a world that abhors you and I?/ All that awaits you is a somber morrow / No matter where the winds may blow.”_

“ _LOVELESS_ , Act III.” Sephiroth didn’t miss a beat.

“By Minerva, have you considered starring in the play yourself?” Genesis asked in mock surprise.

He followed Sephiroth out of the elevator when it stopped after rising several floors, their boots echoing down the empty halls of the building’s residential area.

“I can’t imagine a more painful death.” Sephiroth exhaled slightly, a small smile on his face. “You know I can hardly stomach your poem.”

“I know, and I have to say; I would enjoy every minute of it.”

-

 “Let me get this straight: you chose to spare the life of one of ShinRa’s most wanted, agreed to listen to whatever she told you without doing any outside research for yourself, and then you lied on a report?” Angeal had a cross look on his face. Though, he usually looked to be disgruntled to some degree, so this wasn’t new. He’d finally caught up with the others, all three camped out in Sephiroth’s flat. Sephiroth closed the recipe book he’d been thumbing through and set out a few extra spices. Genesis was perched on a stool at the counter since he’d been permanently banished from cooking some time ago, while Angeal periodically stirred a pan of cooking vegetables.

Sephiroth closed his eyes for several seconds before opening them again, sighing internally.

“Don’t paint me in too positive a light. But, yes, that’s the short version.”

“Did you have a serious lapse of judgement?” Angeal tried to process what Sephiroth was saying. “This is absurd—”

“Now hold on a second, Angeal. There was clearly some reasoning behind his decision,” Genesis interrupted. “Voice your concerns, and you shall receive explanations.”

“For starters, she’s wanted by ShinRa for stealing documents that have since been repeatedly published and have been compromising the company’s reputation,” he started through his list of grievances and crossed his arms. This particular movement was an act of assertion and not for self-soothing, Sephiroth noted. It was interesting how the motion changed with the scenario.

“The problem has arisen from the papers being shared publicly, not the fact that they were stolen,” Genesis responded. “That means she put them out for the benefit of the people. If ShinRa needs to try and hide something like that, the contents of those documents must be something that brings them great shame. They wouldn’t need to hide a positive report of how many trees they planted in a year or how many chocobos they nursed back to health, would they?”

“I acknowledge your point, but this reeks of ill-intent and disloyalty. There is no honor in these actions.”

“Don’t get me wrong, but it almost sounds like you want to defend ShinRa.” Genesis made a quiet _tsk_. “The ever-obedient Angeal.”

“We have it pretty damn good here. There’s no reason to bite the hand that feeds you.”

“How long will our comfort last if we do nothing to stop the company’s poor choices?” Sephiroth asked sharply. “We can choose to look away from the slums of Midgar and from the people who are sick and hungry, tired from wars we took part in, but eventually, it will catch up with us until we can no longer ignore the issue. What about when the air becomes too toxic to breathe and planet’s water is poisoned. None of us are immune to such circumstances. What then?”

That silenced Angeal, but only for a moment. Genesis continued where Sephiroth left off.

“She may be ShinRa’s enemy, but she does not appear to be ours. You said those documents were reports about human experiments? That would be the only true way to undermine the company, to have the employees desert en masse. They’ve cut off trade to uncooperative towns in the past, but without people to do their work or enforce their demands, there is no ShinRa. No one will fight their wars, fix their reactors, or repair damaged cables. Making this an immediate humanitarian issue versus the “distant future” scenario when the planet will eventually become hostile may be the only way to mobilize people. I can’t imagine anyone letting their family work for a place that does tests on unsuspecting people. I wouldn’t.”

Angeal grumbled. His friends were right, and he knew the company was FAR from perfect, but something in his being was fighting the fact that ShinRa was so bad that they needed to be removed from power entirely. Perhaps it was denial, knowing that he’d spent so much effort and many years of his life to work hard and thrive in a company that didn’t care for human life. He had a habit of trying to see the best in people even after it was too late. It had gotten him burned multiple times in the past which was usually followed be Genesis chastising him for “ _not seeing this coming.”_ Perhaps it was time he changed his tune.

“Fine,” Angeal finally ceded. “My next grievance is how you plan to keep her dead when, in fact, she’s not.”

Sephiroth tapped his fingers in a steady rhythm on the countertop as he formed the sentences for his answer.

“I have the names of several people who were sent to kill her before I was, two of them being Turks. The Turks, as you know, oversee surveillance and espionage and would have been the people who found her in the first place. If two of them already let her live because they agreed with what she was doing, I don’t imagine it will be too difficult to persuade them to deliver false reports that will keep up her dead appearance. They would want to keep her safe from ShinRa for their own self-interest. Silently supporting her may be the only voice they’ve got.”

Angeal stepped away from the stove momentarily and poured three mugs of coffee and distributed them amongst the men. Genesis was a social coffee drinker, only drinking a cup when with his friends or three during an exceptionally difficult morning. He tended to be more of a tea drinker himself but didn’t dislike coffee either. Sephiroth was more regular with a cup every other day or two while Angeal was known to have several each day. His friend Zack had tried to match his gusto once but started shaking from the caffeine before he could finish. The bitter taste hadn’t really suited his sweet personality anyway.

Sephiroth eyed his coffee as he gently swirled it around in his mug and thought momentarily of the drink you’d offered him only the day before. He’d have to bring you a package of ground coffee in the future to save himself from another near-death experience or he’d never be able to stomach another visit. He didn’t know how you’d managed to build up a tolerance to the repulsive taste, but figured it was probably time you lost it.

“I’m just concerned is all,” Angeal sighed.

“I know. Thank you for expressing it,” Sephiroth nodded.

“Tell me again why you’re going to pay her another visit.” Angeal prepared several plates as the food on the stove finished cooking through.

“The journals she has on human experiments…supposedly, I am one of the subjects these reports center around.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Genesis grimaced.

“And she wants you to return periodically because…?” Angeal sipped his coffee as he finished plating the food, giving one to each of them.

“Because the information I am about to receive about myself is extremely traumatic, and if not given time to understand what I am being told, I run the risk of mental collapse. Since she’s a doctor, I’m inclined to believe her.”

“Not all doctors are good.” Sephiroth knew Angeal was going to say that, like a mother to her naive child.

“No, but ShinRa only employs the best medical professionals. You know this.”

“What about Hojo? He’s a researcher in the science department, but does he count?” Angeal countered

Sephiroth gritted his teeth.

“Hojo is a disgrace and a disgusting excuse for a human being. He is shameful, and I’m appalled every time I realize we have something in common. The fact that we both have hair or ten fingers is repulsive enough as is.”

“I can’t argue with that.” Genesis took a drink of his coffee.

“Unfortunately, neither can I,” Angeal admitted.

“I’ll help you out and see what I can find on your new lady friend,” Genesis stated. “You’re already in quite a bit of a mess here.”

“I would greatly appreciate the assistance," Sephiroth sighed.

Genesis nodded, the room finally quieting from the discussion. He had been the last to speak and was the first to revive the conversation.

“Angeal, what IS this?” He eyed the food on his plate.

“You don’t like it?” Angeal raised an eyebrow.

“No, no, it’s not that, but your dishes always seem to have strange names.”

“They’re mashed potatoes topped with some meat, veggies, and a few spices.”

“I understand, but what’s it called?” Genesis waited expectantly.

There was a pause.

“It’s called _stoemp_.”

“Stump?”

“Not quite. With an ‘oo’ sound like in ‘boot.’”

 “I believe that’s simply a fancy way to say, ‘random stuff I found in the fridge.’” Genesis shook his head.

“Eat your potatoes,” Angeal sighed.

-

Sephiroth settled into his chair by the fireplace. The scene was nearly the same as the last time he’d been at your _cottage_ – you’d verbally backhanded him for calling your abode a 'shack' – with the exception of the packaged coffee he’d brought you. He no longer had to be concerned for what was going to come out of that whistling kettle.

You repeated the same ritual as before, pouring two mugs of coffee and giving one to your guest. He accepted the cup with a slight nod. You raised your eyebrows after taking a drink.

“Wow, this certainly is a step up from—”

“Drinking gasoline?”

You smiled.

“Precisely,” you replied.

“It’s a few steps up, not just one.”

“Alright, alright, I get it. If you’re going to be so judgmental about the refreshments, you bring what you want to drink, and I’ll make it.”

“Then it’s decided.” Sephiroth brought the mug to his lips and sighed quietly. He was strangely relaxed here despite the nasty environment in which you lived and the circumstances for his visit. You’d noticed he seemed more at ease this time, a bit friendlier. He obviously felt some level of comfort to engage in light banter with you. Sephiroth must have put some serious thought into your words from last time.

You selected a single piece of paper from several behind you and held it up.

“Shall we then? Unfortunately, none of what I tell you during these visits is going to be any easier to swallow than what I’ll have already told you. That being said, I don’t think you’re going to like this particular tidbit very much.”

Sephiroth hummed in amusement at your concern, his gaze locking with yours.

“Try me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm thrilled with how this is going, and should have the next part up soon. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be, but I'm just gong to see what happens and not put a cap on it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a jarring visit to your place, Sephiroth continues his research into your past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, chapter 3! I'm back with the slowest burn ever, I swear. This one is, uh...well, it's something!

“Professor Hojo is your biological father.”

The mug shattered in Sephiroth’s hand as he unheedingly crushed it.

“Woah, hey!” You wiped flying drops of coffee from your shirt with your hand. You grimaced but decided not to chastise him too much. He obviously hadn’t heard you as he retreated into his thoughts, and you were well aware that this was going to be a difficult process. It was very apparent that he had just been caught completely off-guard and needed a moment to think things through.

Sephiroth’s expression was somewhere between rage, disgust, and shock. His eyebrows were drawn together, and his jaw was tightly clenched, yet his eyes were wide. His hand had closed when the mug shattered, creating a fist. You only now noticed that he was still holding several of its pieces as blood dripped from his hand and ran down his glove.

“Give me those,” you said softly. You held your hand out to take the pieces from him though you weren’t sure if he’d respond. To your surprise, Sephiroth slowly opened his right hand after a moment’s hesitation. You took the pieces from him and got a glimpse at the damage you knew would be there. The force from his grip had split the palm of his glove and a long, deep gash sliced through his hand. _Stitches_ , you thought, disposing of the bloody fragments in the trash bin and leaving the room to retrieve the tools of your trade.

He was still reeling from your words.

_Professor Hojo is your biological father._

_Professor Hojo is your biological father._

_Professor Hojo is your biological father._

He’d been so blindsided that he hadn’t noticed the sharp pain in his palm. He lifted his hand and looked at it but didn’t pay attention to what he was seeing. Hadn’t he only just told his friends how much he hated that man? And now to be related to him by blood? He was feeling so many different things, and he wasn’t sure which emotions to focus on. He wanted to scream. He wanted to call you a liar. He could change his mind and kill you after all. Simultaneously, he wanted to break down in furious tears and hide the way ShinRa had always hid him – it was a familiar abuse, one of the only constants in his life until just recently. His chest and throat tightened at the thought of being alone again.

_Hojo is my father._

He wanted to simply disappear.

And yet, part of him was relieved to know that he had at least one parent. As disturbing as it was to hear, it was also the smallest bit reassuring to know that in one small way, he wasn’t different from anyone else. It wasn’t as though he’d expected to have been brought onto the Planet in any other way, but it was still a small comfort.

_…That’s it._

That’s what he would turn this into, he decided. A comfort.

Despite all of the things that made him superhuman, this was proof of what he truly was.

**Human.**

He was not Hojo, he was not ShinRa, and he was not the mindless, obedient weapon they wanted him to be. He was Sephiroth, his own independent person despite the forces that got him to this point. He had always been Sephiroth. Every choice he’d had to make had been his own, and he could choose once again whether to let the scientist consume his life or not.

No.

He was more than Hojo, and blood was the only commonality they had. He’d work every day to prove to himself and others that he never would be Hojo.

Angeal was to thank for this transformative thinking. Any time he or Genesis had been struggling with something, he’d always be there to encourage them to think positively. _How stupid and cliché that was_ , Sephiroth had initially thought, until he realized there was much more to Angeal’s words. It was a lesson that he had the choice to see the bright side of a situation, and with that, it could be turned from a weakness into a strength. It was a method to make peace with whatever he was facing. He’d spent so much of his life alone in the ShinRa facilities that this way of thinking that came from the outside world had him consumed in thought for almost a week as he worked through how to apply it to his own life. It was one of the first things Angeal had given to him even before he had given Sephiroth his friendship. It was dear to him.

For Angeal, for himself, he would not let this stop him.

Sephiroth looked over to find you back in your chair with a few items on the table behind you. He didn’t know when you had returned, but he was relieved you had. He still didn’t know you but enjoyed the fact that another person was with him as he was enduring this. He would never truly be alone.

“Let me take care of that. The cut is jagged and deep, and I’m afraid you’re going to need stitches.” You pointed to his hand.

With some reluctance, he turned to face you and removed both of his gloves before holding out his hand. He wasn’t going to have a use for just one glove now and would need to get a replacement pair. He still greatly disliked visiting the medical wing at ShinRa, but you had always presented yourself professionally to him, and most of his insecurities were eased by that fact. He watched you remove a cotton pad from a small package and douse it with a clear liquid. You no longer worked for ShinRa, so you probably had no intention of sabotaging him. Probably.

“This may sting.” You held Sephiroth’s hand in yours and lightly ran the pad over his cut. You watched him wince and expected him to pull his hand from you, but he stayed still. Noting his unease, you decided to make conversation. “Normally, warm running water and soap is enough to get things cleaned up, but the water isn’t as clean and safe down here as it is at ShinRa.”

“I’d never taken the time to consider the water quality would be any different,” Sephiroth replied after a moment.

“Until recently, neither had I.” You set aside the cotton pad and picked up the threaded curved needle with your needle driver. You noticed him tense up at the sight. “Don’t worry. The driver is scarier than it looks. It just helps me guide the needle easily.”

He didn’t answer, watching you adjust the needle. You held the middle of the needle with your driver and angled the needle tip outward slightly.

“Look at me, not the needle. You’re tense, and I need you to relax the best that you can. Take some deep breaths with me.”

He felt like a child as he slowed his breathing, but he wasn’t about to object to the guidance you were offering. He already knew what every step of the procedure was, how he was supposed to relax, but he seemed to forget every time he was on the receiving end of medical attention. For a while, Genesis had teased him about being anxious when visiting the doctors until he had to go in himself. From then on, they’d had a truce when they realized they shared the same fears.

“You seem to have collected yourself from the news. How are you doing? I was a bit concerned.”

With the back of your hand facing up, you slid the needle into his hand, perpendicular to his skin. A careful turn of your wrist curved the needle through the tissue underneath and forced the tip to reappear on the inside edge of the cut. You regripped the middle of the needle’s shaft with your drivers and pierced through his skin on the other side of the wound, making sure the entry and exit points on either side of the cut were equidistant. You wrapped the thread twice around your needle drivers and with a gentle tug, you knotted the ends. Your patient had successfully survived his first stitch but wasn’t responding much and you still had nine to go.

“It was not what I expected to hear. I despise Hojo and learning that I’m connected to him was demoralizing.” He took another slow breath like you’d told him. “But I’ve decided not to let that get in my way and set me back. We are different people, and his actions, no matter how inhumane, are not my own.”

You smiled at his words. That made you happy to hear.

It wasn’t long before Sephiroth’s hand was all patched up, your stitches neat and even.

“Is this your dominant hand?” you asked.

“It is not.” He took his hand back from yours.

“That’s good. While it heals, keep it dry and use that hand as little as possible or you could pop a stitch, and as usual, see someone if you start noticing anything strange like a rash or if you start to get a fever.”

“Right.”

“And one more thing. Get a new pair of gloves before you head back. No one needs to see that you received stitches outside of the company building.”

-

Sephiroth sat by Genesis the next morning. His friend looked exhausted and grouchy, a cup of coffee in his hand and his head on the table.

“Rough mission, huh?”

Genesis grunted and slowly picked his head up from the table, taking a drink of the coffee.

“It started at zero dark thirty and went for another 36 hours. I’m beat.”

“My condolences.”

“I want to die.”

“I hope your death is swift and painless.” The delivery was with a straight face, but dry humor was Sephiroth’s style.

Genesis cracked a tired smile and laughed at the joke. “Thank you.”

Sephiroth shot a glance at the coffee mug. “What number is that?”

“It’s my fifth in the last hour.”

Sephiroth raised his eyebrows. “That’s excessive. You’re tired yet you’re still awake. Why?”

Genesis flicked his thumb along the side of his cup. It was a nervous habit he’d developed since starting at ShinRa.

“I couldn’t sleep. I was…having episodes all night,” he confessed

That explained the sorry state he seemed to be in. Sephiroth was aware that post-traumatic stress disorder plagued Genesis. His case appeared to be relatively mild, usually leading to the periodic sleepless night, but it was still something that deeply troubled Sephiroth. Genesis was usually unwound for a day or so afterwards before seeming to return to normal. Like when he’d heard that Hojo was his father, Sephiroth realized what a humanizing moment this was for Genesis. Even at the top of the world, they were simply human.

“I know I’ve said it before, but you can always talk to me or Angeal about this.” Sephiroth gave his shoulder a light squeeze before drawing his hand away.

Genesis shook his head. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“Angeal’s always worried.”

“That sounds about right. I haven’t been able to find anything on your doctor yet. ShinRa seems to have buried her information and is trying to pretend that she never happened.”

Sephiroth looked at his right hand. Even though it was gloved once again, he thought about the stitches underneath that you’d given him and reminded himself how real you were despite the company’s efforts to contradict that fact.

“I’ll keep looking, but you might want to see if there’s another lead you can follow in the meantime.”

“I have a few I’ve been meaning to investigate.”

“Oh?”

Sephiroth nodded. “The names of the people who were assigned to kill her before me. I’m going to talk with them.”

“And who are these mysterious others?”

“Tseng, Reno, and Zack Fair.”

“Angeal’s puppy, huh? I’m not surprised. Zack doesn’t seem like he’d have the stomach to pull off a hit. He has a very strong sense of justice.”

“My thoughts exactly. If she seemed innocent, he wouldn’t have killed her, and I want to confirm what I’ve been told with someone else who was in my position previously.”

Genesis nodded. “Good luck. I’ll let you know when I make some headway of my own.”

-

Sephiroth reflected on his meeting with Reno. He was simple enough to figure out. You and Reno had been friends when you’d still worked at ShinRa, making it apparent why he hadn’t killed you. It gave him a sense of security to know, in true Turk fashion, how hard Reno had initially stuck to his original story, that the mission had failed from bad intel and not because of a personal connection. It wasn’t until Sephiroth told Reno about his own experience that he finally started to share what had actually happened. Reno’d had no idea that the mission had been reassigned to the 1st and was relieved to hear you were still alive. He knew with confidence that Reno would keep your secret.

Tseng had said something similar but also that he supported your position to out the company for its crimes against humanity. He agreed to feed ShinRa false information on your behalf and to make sure you “stayed dead.” He’d also taken quite a bit of coaxing to open up which was frustrating but also made Sephiroth feel better about who he was trusting with your life.

The sound of the chair across from him moving was what pulled Sephiroth out of his thoughts and into the present. Zack sat at the table, pulling his chair closer to the edge. He was very physically imposing, filled out from endless hours of training with Angeal and standing taller than Sephiroth, yet his childish face and mane of hair coupled with his energetic, happy-go-lucky personality reminded Sephiroth more of the puppy Angeal consistently described him as.

Zack smiled brightly. “Hiya. You wanted to see me? Angeal cancelled our practice session for this and took a mission instead, so it must be important. What can I help you with?”

Sephiroth leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. “I want you to tell me about the recent mission you had in which you were assigned to kill a former ShinRa doctor.”

Zack’s smile waivered. “Yeah, sure. What do you want to know?”

“I want to know why you didn’t kill her.”

“It was out of my control—” Zack quickly cut in.

Sephiroth held up a hand to stop him. “The mission had most recently fallen to me. I lied on the report that I had eliminated her but was unable to do so. I want to know why you spared her life like the people assigned before you.”

“…You didn’t kill her?”

“No, you’re in good company. I’m not here to rat you out to the Suits, but I want to verify I haven’t had the wool pulled over my eyes. You have a strong sense of justice. Tell me why you let her live.”

Zack took a moment to collect his thoughts before answering. “Like the mission report stated, she told me she’d previously been a medical professional at ShinRa and left with a stack of sealed documents on  her last day. She told me she published them for the benefit of the public which meant whatever was in the papers must’ve been something bad that ShinRa desperately wanted to cover up. I asked if I could see the papers…I spent a long time there, just reading all of the notes. You, Angeal, Genesis, countless others who didn’t survive human experimentation by Professor Hojo…It was horrible. I…How could I kill someone who was trying to put that out for the world to know? They _need_ to know. She’s done nothing wrong, ShinRa just wants to keep its mess under wraps and can’t seem to figure out how else to do it.”

The air was heavy, the room silent when Zack finished.

“I see. Thank you for confirming with me. I was told the same thing, but I haven’t been allowed to see the documents in whole. Her recommendation was to tell it to me piecemeal. She has me returning to see her every few days.”

“I think that’s wise. It’s one thing to read the pages and another for the pages to be about you. There was some really heavy stuff in there. I wish I hadn’t read it…” Zack trailed off.

Sephiroth frowned slightly. “I’m sorry for the discomfort you’re feeling. Has it changed your mind on ShinRa?”

“Yes. I don’t think I can stay at a company that does things like that. Now, it’s just a matter of when I leave.”

“Understood. A mass desertion of ShinRa employees did seem to be the end goal.”

“You think that could work?”

Sephiroth paused. “ShinRa would be greatly weakened from the loss of their workforce and it wouldn’t take much to overthrow them if that were to happen.”

“I can’t believe I’m even thinking like this.”

“You’re not the only one. Thank you for your time.” Sephiroth stood to leave.

“Keep me updated on how she’s doing, okay? I want to know that she’s alright.”

Sephiroth nodded. “I will.”

-

Genesis and Sephiroth knocked on Angeal’s hospital door before entering. He’d returned from a mission with a nasty wound on his leg, so naturally they had to come and visit him.

“How’re you feeling?” Genesis stopped at the side of his bed.

“I’ve been better. My leg hurts like a bitch.”

“Angeal. Such strong words.”  Sephiroth clicked his tongue at him and shook his head disappointedly.

Angeal rolled his eyes. “Guess what they told me? They don’t have any painkillers in stock. Can you believe it? The shipment they were supposed to receive today was delayed, so I get to deal with this all night.”

“What about if we brought you alcohol? Enough of that will numb the pain.” Genesis tapped his chin.

“Now there’s an idea,” Sephiroth chimed in.

Angeal groaned. “I don’t care, just hurry up.”

“Angeal’s drinking for the pain, but what are we drinking for, Genesis?”

“I was up all night from PTSD episodes.”

“I learned that Hojo is my father.”

Genesis shook his head and sighed. “Bottoms up.”

-

_“Definitely slippery are the words from my tongue / Rufus Shinra smells like dung / The Gold Saucer, from Midgar, is to the west / Sephiroth needs to cover his chest”_

Sephiroth snorted. “Is that Act I of _LOVELESS_?”

“Yup. But BETTER.”

Sephiroth had shown off the stitches on his hand while Genesis had effectively re-written all of _LOVELESS._ Angeal pretended not to be as drunk as he actually was but had spent the better part of five minutes repeatedly calling Zack and hanging up on the first ring. When he’d finished having his fun, he grumbled that the nurse had written his name wrong on the whiteboard at the foot of his bed and rewrote it while sounding out his name. He nodded and placed the whiteboard back that now read “M G O.”

Genesis stared once again at Sephiroth’s stitches, mesmerized. “Wow, your lady friend is, like, amazing.”

“I know. She stuck a NEEDLE in my HAND.”

“You guys are drunk,” Angeal sputtered. Sephiroth and Genesis gasped in horror at his accusation.

“YOU’RE drunk. You’re a bad example to your kids!” Genesis countered.

“I’m not your mom!”

They all looked over when Angeal’s phone rang.

Angeal cleared his throat. “Hello???”

“Did you just ding-dong-ditch my phone?”

Angeal giggled. “Ding dong.”

Sephiroth tried not to laugh but couldn’t manage to keep quiet. Genesis was already in hysterics.

“Angeal, are you drunk?”

“Nooo. I have to be a good influence for my kids.”

“You’re drunk."

“nOPe.”

“Are Sephiroth and Genesis with you?”

“Maybe.”

Zack sighed. “I’ll help get you guys to bed.”

Sephiroth scoffed. “Sleep is for mortals.”

“Any god that’s above taking a nap is a dumb ass,” Genesis retorted.

“Easy, edgelords. I’m coming over. Don’t go anywhere.” Zack hung up and started over to medical wing.

For once, the three had a chance to be what they really were; a group of young men in their twenties being carefree and enjoying the company of their friends.

-

Sephiroth looked at the paper folder in front of him, placed neatly on the coffee table in his living room. Genesis had brought it to him. They were employee files – your files. He finally had the key to more answers in his possession, but still felt like he’d needed to hype himself up before looking inside. He’d gotten himself some dinner, taken a shower, and dressed down from his uniform before he finally felt ready to look inside. Even now, he still hesitated.

He scowled at his unnecessary reluctance. He was being ridiculous. It was just a collection of papers.

He took a breath and pulled the file open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The fact that you've now read three chapters of this blows my mind, but I'm excited that you've stuck with me so far. Leading up to this being published, I researched medical stitching techniques and spoofed LOVELESS. The drunk spelling for Angeal's name was from some auto-generated Youtube captions...The things I do for fanfiction.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth opens your ShinRa file to learn more about you, the doctor he keeps returning to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience, guys!

You walked down the long halls of ShinRa to your office. That’s all ShinRa ever felt like – long, gaping hallways. You’d been working for a few months as a doctor at the leviathan of a company, and there hadn’t been a boring day.

“Doctor” was about as good of a description for your job as any since ShinRa had you doing an array of different tasks. For your own good and survival at the company, you’d had to brush off the cobwebs from your days as an apprentice and become a jack of all trades. ‘Be flexible’ was what the Suits had initially told you which wasn’t the best advice you’d ever gotten. Could they be any vaguer? You didn’t think they really understood what it meant to have an area of focus. Regardless, your ability to adapt had granted you the chance to rise quickly through the ranks of the medical staff which you eagerly ran with.

On slow days, you visited the infantry for physical exams and watched them run drills with the trainers. On busier days, you were doing lab work and running tests, and on chaotic days, which were fairly abundant, you grabbed SOLDIER members as they came stumbling through the building doors and shouted for medical staff to help you take them to the operating table immediately.

That’s how you’d met Zack.

After one particularly nasty run on a mission, he’d made it back to headquarters and had just enough strength to push open the main doors before collapsing into a crumpled pile on the floor. It was by divine intervention that you’d been at the front office to deal with some annoying paperwork from the Suits AGAIN. All the color had drained from him and blood had started to pool around him on the tile floor. Administration in the office made the call to the emergency unit while you got to work doing whatever you could in the meantime.

You’d managed to push him over onto his back, trying not to cover yourself in his blood, and searched his chest for wounds. There had been a huge gash in his stomach, and you hadn’t the foggiest idea how anyone had managed to lay a hit on him, but here he was, a limp doll at your feet. You should have washed your hands, but there wasn’t time. You now had to assume the role of a field doctor and would count on his wounds being sterilized in surgery.

“I’m sorry,” you’d mumbled as you pressed your hands hard against his stomach. You covered the wound with your hands the best you could and proceeded to apply significant pressure to try and slow the bleeding.

Zack made a faint crying sound that you had to emotionally detach yourself from. You didn’t need a broken heart on top of his ghastly cut.

“I know it hurts. Hang tight.” You’d have to do your best to distract him from the pain since there wasn’t much you could do but wait for backup to arrive.

Seconds felt like minutes. You worked well under stress and were good at remaining calm, but where on Gaia were the other doctors?

“I have a bleeding 2nd! Where’s my gurney?!” You yelled to no one in particular though your gaze was at the office worker. That poor soul. Your intense glare must have said it all.

You looked back down at Zack, your face softening. “You’re going to be alright. I will take very good care of you once we get you to the medical wing, and you’ll be good as new in no time.”

There was a small nod and more quiet sobs from Zack.

An excruciating minute later you could see several other personnel running down the hall with a gurney. Zack was swiftly lifted off the ground and placed on the wheeled stretcher before you took off running down the hall. You ran ahead of the gurney, hands covered in blood, and barked at people to clear the hallway. Other employees jumped out of the way as you all went racing past, your entire entourage retreating towards the operating room. At times like this, those long, awful hallways were yours to command.

“Move, move, move!” You stole a glance over your shoulder at Zack. His skin was clammy, sweat pouring from his hairline. You made a mental note of his symptoms as you hurried into your home turf. You peeled off from the gurney and ducked into one of the nearby rooms, washing your hands and preparing for the immediate operation. That area of focus you had? It was surgery. You’d been able to perform the other duties the Suits had assigned you without trouble, but this was where you shone.

You entered the operating room once you were properly dressed and looked down at your patient. His eyes were heavy as his medication set in. In a few seconds, he would be completely sedated, and he’d be entirely in your hands.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”

-

Zack was in recovery when you picked up performing physicals again. While not your specialty, you didn’t mind them much. Most of the infantry men were more than pleasant to deal with, and you enjoyed watching their enthusiasm as they talked about being inspired by Sephiroth. They were always so chatty unlike the more reserved SOLDIER members. Each one of them wanted to make 1st Class, and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. You always assured them that you’d take care of them all the way through the ranks so they were the best they could be for the job, just like Sephiroth.

Sephiroth.

It was a name you heard a lot but rarely spoke yourself. You’d never properly met him, but as far as you were aware, ShinRa was nothing without him. You knew him more from gossip than from run-ins. The man whose hair was liquid steel, the SOLDIER who turned from human to phantom during an ambush, the one who captured every woman’s heart. You shook your head at the idea of falling for someone you’d never met. Status or not, if they weren’t a decent person, they didn’t deserve your attention, even if that attention was only time you spent thinking about them.

You’d seen Sephiroth a few times in the hall and once or twice during check-ups when he followed his friends in for their appointments. You didn’t think he’d remember you, another face in the background of the company, but that wasn’t all bad. He barely spoke let alone to you when he was present on these rare occasions, so you hadn’t had enough exposure to decide whether you liked him or not.

You worked your way through the room, checking each member of the infantry carefully. You would take your time, checking their eyes, hair, skin, nails, anything you could on their heads. From there, you’d apply light pressure to their arms, legs, and abdomens to check for anything unusual before performing a few mobility tests. You knew the exams were very low-key, but something about your touch made them relax almost instantly.

A tap on your shoulder got your attention as you finished another exam.

“Yes?” You turned to see one of the nurses.

“I’m here to take over. Zack is awake and asking for you.”

“Who?” You didn’t think you knew anyone by that name.

“Zack Fair, the 2nd you brought in this morning.”

“Oh, yes, him. Right, I’ll head over.” With that, you returned to the medical wing.

You mind was quiet for most of the walk besides the question of why he wanted to see you. He was surely surrounded by numerous staff members who were able to take care of him in your place. You’d figure out soon enough, so you decided not to dwell on it. A few steps later, and you were in Zack’s doorway, knocking on the frame as you entered.

“You made it!” His eyes lit up as he spotted you from his hospital bed. He was so much livelier than you’d expected. It put you at ease, allowing you to drop your ever serious and professional demeanor, something you rarely did.

“Of course. What can I help you with, Zack?” He smiled more when you said his name. He must’ve already gotten yours from the nurse.

“I wanted to say thank you. You seriously saved my life back there. I didn’t know what I was going to do, and that was a really scary thought. But there you were when I came in the door, ready to help me, and…”

You shook your head. “Don’t mention it. It’s all part of the job description.”

“I mean it. Thank you.”

You smiled. “You’re welcome.”

Zack only let the conversation stop for a second. “You’re pretty busy, aren’t you?”

“I am, yes.”

“When you’re free next, we should catch up!”

“Huh?” For a second, you didn’t quite understand what he said. Your serious nature usually kept people on business terms with you, and this was the first time someone had outright asked to spend time with you.

“I mean we should be friends!”

You laughed. This goofball was quite charming, and you didn’t think you’d be able to say no to friendship with him.

“We can’t go anywhere else until you’ve recovered, but I can visit you in your room while you’re healing. The conditions are that you have to be a good patient and stay in bed.”

“Deal!”

-

You and Zack had seriously hit it off in the months following his recovery, and you were instant friends. Lucky for him, the Mako in his body led to a speedy recovery, faster than the average person. He was following you down the halls and talking your ear off in no time. You didn’t mind it. You were much more social and a bit lonelier than your stoic business face let people believe.

You heard everything about Angeal and his friends, Genesis and Sephiroth. According to Zack, Angeal had informally picked him up as an apprentice and was set on helping him make 1st. Zack had met the other two once or twice during training when they’d stayed to watch. You’d heard about his hometown of Gongaga, how he missed the warm climate, and about his mom who seemed to be even friendlier than he was. The letters she wrote him were so sweet, they were absolutely to die for. He told you about how he’d wanted to start dating but didn’t know where to start, and that Angeal had gotten him a dog tag as a gift that read “Zack the puppy.”

You couldn’t help but repeatedly thank the miracle that had Zack bleeding out on the floor not too long ago and led you to this wonderful human.

“So, enough about me. What’s new with you?” Zack matched your pace and walked slowly down the hallway, his head resting back on his hands with his fingers laced together as if he were lounging.

“What’s new? Hmmm…Not much. I’ve just been doing labs lately.”

“What does that mean?”

“You know how you have to get a periodic physical? The company wants to make sure that everyone in their military division is in good health, and part of that is getting a blood sample. I only take samples from the SOLDIER members, but I then take them to one of the back rooms and run a few tests to make sure that you really are in the best health that you can be.”

“That makes sense and all, but…you have a vial of my blood?!”

You grinned widely. “That’s right, Zack, and if you ever do anything unpleasant, I will use it in a blood ritual against you. Are we clear?”

Zack let out a shriek. “NO NO NONONONO NO! PUT YOUR CREEPY SERIAL KILLER PERSONA AWAY!”

You laughed and smiled. He was fun to mess with and always a good sport. Zack sighed when he saw your smile.

“I check the oxygen levels and things like that. More indicators on what your health is like.”

“Makes sense…” He warily looked at you.

You winked at the small glimpse of fear in his eyes.

-

You were back to work running labs. So far everything had been fine, but there was one sample that you were having problems with. When it came to Sephiroth’s vial, regardless of what test you tried to do, it tended to bubble, sometimes hissing, and it always gave you strange readings. There was no way he could have faked a blood sample, and this was seriously concerning you.

You capped the sample and took it along with your notes to the research department. You weren’t a fan of the researchers – they were all creepy – but you needed their expertise. When it came to anything biological that defied reality, they seemed to have an answer, and you were willing to suffer through interacting with them to make sure Sephiroth’s blood wasn’t going to boil and cause him to keel over and die.

The hallway seemed to stretch out in front of you as you continued towards the research wing. You’d noted many times before how expansive the hallways were because you were constantly in awe at their size, and the walk only ever extended when you were walking to the creepy scientists.

After much too long, you were in a room with one of the researchers, explaining your findings and your current dilemma. He hardly looked up from his work before taking the blood sample from you and putting it in his desk drawer.

“Your sample is being confiscated. Please refrain from collecting samples from SOLDIER 1st Class Sephiroth again in the future, and hand over your notes,” he stated flatly.

You were shocked. “Excuse me? I have some serious health concerns regarding—”

“Your notes, doctor.”

“What?! His blood bubbled! I cannot in good conscience leave this alone! This man is seriously sick!”

“We will not speak further of this. You’re dismissed.”

“But—”

“Dismissed.”

You threw your notes on his desk and stormed off. There was no way you were leaving it at that, absolutely not. If anything happened to Sephiroth, it was going to be on you. What did the researchers have to hide? It was only blood…Something was very, very wrong. You figured this would be a good time to flex your status as upper level medical personnel and do some digging.

-

It wasn’t hard to get into the research wing’s restricted library once you’d gotten your hands on the proper keycard. You more or less owed your friends in administration your life at this point and mentally apologized for manipulating them a bit. You couldn’t tell them that you were going behind people’s backs though, or they’d never agree to help you. It didn’t matter now. You had the card you needed, and you were going to get to the bottom of this. No patient left behind, and no reputation tarnished.

You walked through the rows of metal shelves, each one stuffed full of different paper files. A brief glance at the map and topic list on the wall told you exactly where you needed to go. You made your way past the rows of shelves and headed towards the back of the room, stopping when you reached the shelf labelled “Sephiroth.” What on Gaia was going on that one person had an entire shelf of information on them?

Over the next few hours, you realized why.

-

You’d sat yourself on the floor and leaned back against the shelf, files strewn around at your feet. You put down your current reading material and decided to recap what you’d just read.

Only a few decades ago, ShinRa excavated an alien from the surface of Gaia. She was believed to be a Cetra, one of the Ancients, and was named Jenova. It was only later that this theory was proven to be incorrect.

Sephiroth was the son of researchers Lucrecia Crescent and Hojo and had been injected with some of Jenova’s cells in utero in an attempt to give him the powers of the Ancients. Hojo was the head of the project, and Sephiroth never met his parents, as if Hojo cared. From then on, he was treated as a weapon and trained to be a soldier, raised at ShinRa. This study was called Project S.

That wasn’t all, of course. There was always more. There were two other test subjects in a related study, Project Gillian or Project G as you’d come to know it, who were none other than the two 1sts, Genesis and Angeal. Angeal’s mother, Gillian, had been injected with Jenova’s cells while pregnant and Genesis, as a baby, had been exposed to Gillian’s cells. They were both from Banora, a fake town that served as a front for ShinRa’s disgusting acts.

Did they know what their hometown really was? That they were constantly being watched by the ShinRa corporation before they could even dream of joining the SOLDIER program? Genesis and Angeal’s parents knew what had happened. Had they told their sons?

How were you supposed to process this?

How were THEY supposed to process this?

Not only was the company doing inhumane testing on humans, they were actively lying about what happened.

You let out a long sigh. It was apparent you needed to make a decision – you needed to decide if you could keep working for ShinRa now that you knew what they’d done. This could very well be the tip of the iceberg for all you knew. If you left, you’d be followed and hunted for the rest of your life, but you’d be free to spread the word of their horrible deeds to everyone. Whatever decision you made now, you wouldn’t be able to go back. If you chose to leave, the minute you left this room, you’d have to run for your life and not turn back.

Was being a fugitive, hunted by the world’s most powerful company, worth it? You wondered this as you picked up the large stack of files relating to Project S and Project G.

You sighed.

Unfortunately, you decided, it was.

-

It had been a few days since you’d made a break for your new life under the plate, and had run across an exceptionally small, rundown house. It wasn’t anywhere near your first choice, but you know what? It was kinda cute. With some elbow grease, it was going to be a pretty great place for you to settle into.

And with that, you’d set to work. You’d taken out piles upon piles of trash, screamed and viciously beat some horrific spiders to death, and made a small front yard for yourself. You weren’t fond of the neighbors or being reminded of where you were currently living, so you spent a solid week making some yard art. Metal shrubs were what you’d decided to line the yard with. They all ended up being the same height, but each had a unique design. They ended up working well to not only block out the visuals of the slums but the sounds as well. The neighbors were just a bit quieter now which was more than enough to bring a smile to your face.

Two weeks after arriving, the place was nearly perfect for what it was, and you were thrilled.

It wasn’t long after that that you started to receive visitors. They were all sent by ShinRa to kill you. Lazard was a smart man, but he was also a moron for sending your friends to do the dirty work. He must not have known who they were to you. With each person, you repeated the same procedure of bringing them inside for a drink and simply sharing with them what you’d learned about the company and how it had driven you away. They were even allowed to read the stolen documents should they choose to, and after that, you gave them the choice to kill you and fulfill their mission.

No one took you up on the offer to take you out while you held still.

You’d remembered your heart hurting a bit when you saw Zack grace your property, but you gave him the same treatment nonetheless. How you missed your friend.

And as the attempts failed, the status of the people rose, until one day, the man who started all of this came to visit you himself.

SOLDIER 1st Class Sephiroth, the man with the bubbling blood.

And when he was ready, you too would tell him everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand thanks again for reading! You're a real champ for sticking around this far. Thank you for all of the sweet comments! I really appreciate each of them, and I'm happy that so many of you like my depiction of the characters (I'm trying, I swear).


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After reading all about his new friend, Sephiroth's visits become more frequent as he grapples with a strange new feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn slow burn slOW BURN SLOW BURN SLOW BURN
> 
> Hey guys, thanks for waiting! The wait was much shorter this time, but still.

Sephiroth set down the papers from your file and rubbed his face. While the wording was different, it was as you’d told him. He closed the folder with one hand and pushed it to the corner of the table for Genesis to pick up in the morning.

He thought about when he’d see you next. He owed you a visit soon.

Against what may have been his better judgement, Sephiroth found himself beginning to enjoy his visits to your cottage.

He kept your coffee supply well-stocked, and you always provided him with a hot cup when he decided to stop by. He sometimes brought you other small items, everything from new medical tools to small, shiny objects he thought you might like.

He began to notice little things about the house. The day you’d replaced the drapes, when you’d taken the time to paint the dull beams in the ceiling with small vines and flowers, and how you’d scrubbed the dirty floor so hard that it had changed colors entirely by his next visit. Who knew the wood had been a deep maroon all along?

Sephiroth also began to notice little things about you. The way your eyes flicked around the room in a calculating fashion, the way your hair fell when you moved, how you moved your fingers when you were antsy because you could never sit still.

You’d been crossing your arms, hugging yourself, less and less in his presence. It was a small thing that felt like a big win, and he wanted more of them.

The information was no easier to hear, just as you’d said, but he still found himself looking forward to seeing you again.

-

Sephiroth stood next to you in the kitchen as you pulled the coffee grounds from the cupboard. In a swift movement, he held out his hand and presented you with a mug, holding it delicately in his gloved hand.

“What’s this?” you asked.

“A mug to replace the one I broke before. I’d like to apologize for my outburst.”

You smiled, and he felt a small skip in his heart. He wasn’t sure why this smile was different. Though it had taken a little time for you to open up and drop your professional demeanor, much like himself, he’d seen you smile before.

“You don’t have to—”

“Please.”

You smiled more and took the mug. “Apology accepted.”

A faint smile graced Sephiroth’s lips as he watched you put the mug away.

“Your hand healed up without any issues, right?”

Sephiroth ran a thumb over his palm, remembering the gash you’d stitched up not too long ago and how you’d carefully removed the stitches when you’d deemed his condition acceptable.

“Yes. There is no scarring either.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” You nodded and walked over to the fireplace, hanging the kettle over the flames.

Sephiroth followed you and sat in his usual spot as you took your place in your chair. You pulled the Project S case file into your lap.

“Alright, Sephiroth. What do you want to know today?”

“I want to know about you?”

You blinked. That was an unusual request.

“About me? I’m pretty sure that I told you I was a doctor for ShinRa—”

“No, not that.” Sephiroth leaned forward in his seat, resting his forearms on his knees. “I want to know about _you_.”

The way he stressed his words, you understood what he meant. It only made sense he wanted to be completely comfortable with the person who was acting as his doctor of sorts, you rationalized. You set the project folder aside.

“Well, let me see…I’m sure you’ve already pieced this together…”

“Tell me anyway,” he insisted.

“I’m fond of plants. I’m from a small village a little way outside of town, and everything was green there, but in Midgar, nothing grows. Everything is metallic and cold, and the plants remind me of home. Green has always been a nice color as well, and it really helps to break up the monotonous gray palette here. Since real plants don’t do well in the slums, I’ll just have to make myself an unconventional garden.” Your eyes wandered for a moment to the painted ceiling beams before returning to Sephiroth.

He leaned back in his chair once more, processing your answer, and slowly nodding when he seemed satisfied.

“What else?”

“I don’t like coffee.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t like coffee?”

“Nope.”

“Then why were you drinking that horrific concoction when we met?”

“Because it was warm.”

“Are you telling me that I’ve been bringing you something that you don’t like to consume for several weeks now and you drink it _every time_ I’m here without a single comment?”

You couldn’t help but giggle. Sephiroth was trying to keep up his emotionally constipated, serious demeanor, but he wasn’t doing a good job of hiding his mild irritation.

“I wasn’t going to say no. They were gifts.”

“I will bring you something else to drink. What do you like?”

“Sephiroth, you don’t need to.”

“Oh, but I do. My reputation has been tarnished, and I have embarrassed myself by assuming I knew your tastes.”

You sighed and let your shoulders drop, shaking your head at him. It was apparent you weren’t going to win. “Surprise me but keep it non-alcoholic so I can still get work done.”

“And you will tell me if you like it or not?”

“I will.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

There was a pause as Sephiroth raised his eyebrows. “You’re sure?”

“Huh?!”

“I don’t know if I can trust y—”

“Yes, Sephiroth, yes!” You laughed. “I will be completely honest with you about whatever you bring me.”

Sephiroth smiled softly. “Alright then.”

There he was. The real Sephiroth had made another brief showing. You couldn’t even begin to describe how much you loved it when you caught these small moments. Like you, he seemed to have a hard time dropping his professional attitude, meaning there was nothing sweeter than when he finally relaxed. He would always be serious, but you adored his subtle playfulness. He would never be as forward as someone like Zack, but you felt the same warmth from his actions.

Hmmm…

OH.

You refocused your thoughts when you remembered you had company, hoping he hadn’t noticed your thoughts drifting but knowing all too well that he probably didn’t miss a second of it. He was incredibly keen.

“What else are you willing to share?”

“Hold on, you next.”

“Me?”

“Yes, tell me about you. I can’t just tell you all of my secrets without getting something in return.”

Sephiroth snorted in amusement. “As you wish.”

“My grandparents raised chocobos outside of town,” you started. “I’d help during the summers when the chocobos were the most restless. They make wonderful guard animals, you know. As kind as they are, they’ll bash you in the head with their own if they don’t like you. I used that to my advantage once with a guy I’d been dating. He didn’t quite get the message that I was over him and that he needed to stop following me, so I walked past the chocobo pens while he was following me and WHAM!—Lights out.”

“My, my, you are a force to be reckoned with,” he chuckled.

“Okay, now you.”

“I actually do like coffee. I also enjoy black tea, but you know how easy it is to get your hands on coffee at ShinRa. I originally picked up the habit out of spite. I was raised within the company, and always had people watching me, trying to keep me in ideal health and ideal shape. While the attention was nice at times, no doubt, I was never once left alone to be by myself and I was never allowed to say no to anything. My diet was strictly controlled, and I was given an absurd list of things I was never allowed to do or consume. Coffee, of course, happened to be the item at the top of the list, so the next time someone brought me my sterile, prescribed lunch and didn’t listen when I said I didn’t want it, I took the coffee pot from the coffee maker and drank the entire thing while maintaining eye contact with the worker.” Sephiroth shook his head. “I wasn’t reprimanded very well and started to do that whenever I wanted to negatively express myself.”

You couldn’t get over the mental image of an adult Sephiroth throwing a fit and chugging a pot of coffee in a minute.

“That’s absolutely ridiculous,” you managed between laughs.

“I know.”

“I love it.”

“I’m glad.”

The kettle started to scream, prompting you to pour a cup of coffee for Sephiroth and one for yourself.

“You’re sure you want to drink that?” He eyed your mug.

You stared him straight in the eyes and started taking large gulps of your coffee. Sephiroth sighed and rolled his eyes.

“It seems I’ve met my equal. Genesis will be pleased to hear that someone was able to challenge my snark.”

You lowered the cup and grinned. “Not so cocky after all.”

“I acknowledge an even match.”

“My, my, he’s humble too.”

Sephiroth’s face returned to its usual blank mask. “What is your long-term plan?”

“Now that I’ve left the company and have their most sensitive documents in my hand? I don’t have one. I’m going to keep doing this until it’s lights out. Sooner or later, they’ll find out that I’m still around and get rid of me. I’m surprised each day that I’m alive. Don’t you remember? I’m not scared of death anymore.”

“I want you to start fearing death again. For me.”

“What? Why?”

“Because the fear of death keeps us alive. I won’t have you going to the Lifestream for as long as I can help it.”

“So that I can tell you everything that you want to know about Project S, right?”

“No. These reasons are much more selfish than learning the contents of Project S.”

“What do you mean?”

He didn’t answer you.

“Sephiroth?”

“I’m ready to hear what you have to tell me today.”

You frowned slightly as the topic dropped but passed him a few pieces of paper with a woman’s photo on the front.

“This is your mother, Lucrecia Crescent.”

-

“I have something for you.”

Sephiroth offered a simple folder to his friend. Genesis looked at the neat bundle of papers before taking it, examining the blank covers.

“What’s this?”                

“A gift from the doctor.”

“Not a gift from the goddess? What a shame.”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and smiled slightly. “You can’t live in your poem book forever.”

“I can certainly try. It’s more like a recipe book though. A guide for living rather than a closed universe. But back to my question: What is this?”

“The things I’ve been learning during my visits. These were files she had on you and Angeal.”

“On us? You’re suggesting that whatever they did to you happened to us as well?”

“I’m not suggesting.”

Genesis grimaced, looking at the folder once again.

“You can choose to read it or not. The doctor’s orders are to not read everything in one go, but that is up to you.”

“Those instructions sound familiar.”

Sephiroth nodded. “Indeed.”

Genesis hesitated. “…Right.”

Sephiroth put a hand on Genesis’ shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “Whatever’s in there, I will do all that I can to support you and Angeal. It will be difficult, but we can’t let ShinRa get away with this.”

“I know. Thank you. Angeal was just released from the hospital today. I’ll share this with him when I next see him. From the sounds of it, this could easily be enough to have him bite the hand that feeds him.”

“Maybe we don’t have it so good here after all,” Sephiroth stated, remembering Angeal’s words from several weeks ago. He dropped his hand, and with that, he was off again.

-

You stood at the kitchen table, a line of steaming mugs in front of you. Looks like Sephiroth really was serious about finding something you liked to drink.

“Go on,” he insisted. He was standing next to you, armed with a pencil and paper, determined to keep track of your thoughts. “I want to know which ones you like and which ones you don’t. _I expect honesty_.”

His eyes narrowed as he emphasized the last three words causing you to stifle a laugh. You picked up the first mug and took a sip, you face twisting in disgust. You quickly shook your head.

“Nuh uh. Nope, nope, nope.”

Sephiroth crossed the drink name off his list. “One ‘no’ was plenty.”

“Hush.”

 “You used to drink gasoline. Is this really worse than that?” The pencil quietly scratched the page as he wrote.

“Hey! Leave me alone, you bully!” You lightly whacked his arm.

Sephiroth snorted and smiled slightly. “Next.”

You picked up the next cup and sipped the next drink. This one wasn’t too bad, but it was a bit too nutty for your taste. You shook your head. “No.”

“Noted.”

You worked your way through a few more mugs, taking a break to rinse out your mouth after one particularly bad drink. Sephiroth chuckled at your scrunched face. It was amusing to watch certainly, but there was something else he’d been feeling lately. It wasn’t just one feeling, really, but several of them at the same time and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what was happening. Sephiroth had all the attention he could ever want because of his status, but he only cared about yours. He wanted to be near you more and more, and his visits had gradually turned into more social ones, the focus no longer being about his origins. He enjoyed teasing you, but also felt that he had to pull you close to him and protect you. How the world had already tried to swallow you up before. He’d stand between you and danger from now on. The idea of protecting you gave him a sense of purpose more than the senseless missions at ShinRa ever had.

You walked back over to the table, sticking your tongue out.

“Alright. Let’s finish this up.”

“Things aren’t going well for me, it seems. You’ve shot down each of them so far.”

“You said no lying!”

“That I did. Tell me, how is this one?”

Sephiroth picked up the next mug in line and handed it to you. You groaned inwardly, mental wounds fresh from the last taste test, but you took it anyway and took a small drink. For a moment, you said nothing, making no expression.

“How is it?” he finally asked. Patience wasn’t Sephiroth’s strength, but he wanted to give you enough time to form a proper response and made a conscious effort to remain quiet.

You smiled lovingly at the cup before raising your eyes to meet his. “This one. This one is perfect.”

“It seems we have a winner.” He curiously studied your face. It seemed to reflect what he’d recently been feeling, and he wanted to know what it was. “Care to elaborate?”

“I’m not sure what the best way to describe it is. It’s a little sweet, but not too much. It feels lightweight but has a creamy consistency. It also smells amazing, like hazelnuts. I…I don’t know if there’s any one thing I love about it.”

Sephiroth stopped writing mid-sentence.

Love. That was the word you’d used. Was that what this strange state was? Could he be in love? He figured it was possible. The only thing he’d learned about emotions while being raised at ShinRa was how to suppress them which was all too obvious in how he acted day-to-day. He knew it was hard for people to get close to him because he made such an effort to keep them out, but you’d walked right up to him and made yourself at home in his heart. All of the mental training he’d received had done nothing to even slow you from moving in. He realized he’d grown fond of you and hadn’t tried to fight it at all.

“It kind of reminds me of you, you know? Mostly bitter, but just sweet enough.”

An easy smile spread across Sephiroth’s face. It was the first time you’d really seen him smile and one of the only times you’d seen him look so relaxed.

“That sounds like me all right.”

“I had a feeling you’d agree.”

You set down the winning mug and took a moment to clean up the others. It was sweet how determined he was to find something you liked and to present you with so many options. You weren’t going to admit it, but you wished he wouldn’t leave after each of his visits. You adored the small smiles and little flickers of emotion that showed through when you talked. He thought you didn’t notice, but you were much more familiar with emotions than he was. Whenever you noticed, you plucked that moment up and held onto it. Before long, you had a whole collection in the back of your head that were all for you. He was blunt and snarky with an extremely dry sense of humor, but there was a gentleness you also felt about him. It was a soft, warm energy he seemed to radiate.

You put the empty mugs away after cleaning each of them. Sephiroth brought over the drink mix you’d chosen and eyed the coffee ground in the cupboard.

“You’re sure you still want to keep those?”

“Sure do. I can make it for you every time you stop by.”

“I’ll take whatever you offer me, even that gasoline. You don’t need to do that.”

“I know, but I want to do it. I like it.”

Sephiroth shook his head, hearing his own words from your mouth.

“As you wish.”

Yes, that was definitely it. He loved you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are you still reading??? I mean, Sephiroth just drank straight from a pot of coffee. Thanks anyway, I appreciate you. X'D
> 
> Now that you've read this, go check out Shierusowl's one shot/spin off! [Doctor's Visit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19471900)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Genesis read all of Project G in one sitting? You bet he did. Sephiroth and his friends find themselves at a crossroads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute since I last updated. Thanks for sticking around while I've been away though! Wow, Sephiroth has been really popular the last few weeks! I'm glad. He needs all the love he can get :D Also, thank you for all of the lovely comments you've been leaving! It makes me very happy to read them, and I love getting them. Hopefully best boy Sephiroth is still in character, and I haven't suddenly forgotten how to write him!

Sephiroth watched as Genesis sat on the couch and grabbed his red hair in clumps. He was oozing stress, his energy filling the room and making the air feel heavy. At times, it felt hard to breathe. The three 1sts were gathered in Genesis’ living quarters as they regularly did, but these were unusual circumstances. They weren’t about to enjoy themselves over dinner and jokes on this occasion, not after Genesis had read the entirety of the Project G file. It was a while before Sephiroth said anything.

“Genesis—”

“I can’t believe it…I always felt like something was different. I thought maybe I was meant to be something better, a hero. There was something about me that was better than everyone else. I was chosen for a higher purpose, something larger than myself. But THIS?! Oh, no! I was a damn lab rat! How could I be so daft?!”

“Genesis, calm down—”

He shot up from his seat and looked his friend in the eyes with a vicious stare.

“I’m some freak’s science project! How am I supposed to calm down?!”

“It’s not like that—”

“How could it be anything else?! I read every word of those files! It was impossible to misinterpret what they said!”

Sephiroth sighed, a hint of irritation about him. His friend was obviously having a hard time with this, but could he stop interrupting him for one minute? He watched Genesis start to fidget and pace.

“You read everything in one night, didn’t you?”

“Of course, I did! Once you start reading, you can’t just STOP.”

Sephiroth grimaced. This is exactly what you’d been warning him about, and now he knew why. The scholar amongst them had been all but ripped to shreds. He looked over to his other friend who’d been sitting silent the whole time. While Genesis chose anger as a means of coping, Angeal seemed to choose mute detachment.

“What about you, Angeal? Did you read it?”

Angeal wordlessly nodded, eyes staring into space. Sephiroth pressed his lips into a tight line. Usually, Angeal would be the one to skillfully handle these situations, but the man looked like his soul had left his body. He’d have to try his hand at consoling.

“I know it’s hard to process—”

“No, you don’t.” Genesis spat. “How could you? You haven’t learned everything about yourself, have you? She’s still telling you things, isn’t she?”

Sephiroth paused. “You’re right, I don’t know everything, but none of the things I’ve been told so far have been easy to deal with. I can only imagine what it must be like to learn everything in one shot. All of these horrible secrets about yourself, learning that a whole team of people meddled in your existence. How far did they go? What could drive them to do that? Who can we trust? It feels like you’ve been betrayed just by existing. And then to find yourself working for them? What a slap in the face. This wasn’t just a job, this was a career. It was a dream we all shared, and now the whole thing has turned out to be a lie.”

Genesis stayed silent for a long while. Sephiroth tried again.

“ _My friend, the fates are cruel_ —”

“ _There are no dreams, no honor remains/ The arrow has left the bow of the goddess_ … _LOVELESS_ , Act IV,” Genesis muttered. He sighed and hung his head, shaking it before looking back at Sephiroth. “You have to try and understand. My hometown is a lie, my parents aren’t my parents, the staff at ShinRa knew…They all lied to me. What about my life is true? They were all against me from the start.”

“I realize that must be extremely hard to come to terms with.”

“You’re determined to get to the end of your file, aren’t you?”

“I am. I have no family or hometown like you. In some ways, these confidential pages and research notes are all that I have.”

“…Good luck.”

“Thank you. I imagine I’ll need it.” Sephiroth turned his head to Angeal who still appeared to be vacant. He knelt in front of the other man. “Angeal, tell me your thoughts.”

Angeal took his time before answering. “I’m questioning my purpose. Before, my purpose was to be a hero and serve ShinRa, a company I thought was doing good things. But now…I’m not sure. You and Genesis were right to be suspicious of them while I ignored the signs. I buried my head in the sand time and time again and denied what I could plainly see. In retrospect, I’ve been treated more like an animal than a person all this time…Am I really a person after all of this?”

“You’re more than a person. You’re a hero.”

“After all of the people I killed on behalf of ShinRa? After all of this? I deserve to be one of the dead.”

“We all do terrible things. Being a soldier means being a hero to some and a villain to others. You are no doubt a hero. Whatever ShinRa did when you were young, it didn’t shape who you are as a person. You are authentically you, and your mind and personality are your own. ShinRa had no hand in molding this.”

Sephiroth lightly pressed his finger against Angeal’s forehead, the black-haired man finally looking up and meeting his gaze.

“I still don’t know what my purpose is. I feel so lost.”

Genesis strode over and stood near Angeal. “Don’t let ShinRa use you as a weapon anymore. Redefine yourself as a hero for the people that ShinRa has wronged. You are not their mindless, obedient warrior, but Angeal Hewley, one of the strongest, smartest, and most compassionate people Gaia’s ever seen. Use those qualities to your advantage and to the disadvantage of ShinRa.”

“This isn’t the end, Angeal, it’s a crossroads for a new chapter. It’s time to remind the world and yourself of who you are.”

“Let ShinRa burn to the ground and leave with me,” Genesis proposed. “Many others have already expressed their reluctance to stay, even Zack. Let’s take them with us and desert altogether. It will be a statement like no other. The company won’t be able to ignore us then, and they can suffer as we drag their sorry establishment through the mud.”

Sephiroth watched as his red friend’s hurt anger morphed into steadfast determination. The anger was still there, but his mind had started to return to him. Sephiroth always thought he would’ve been a good advocate, and this was his chance.

Angeal shook his head. “I don’t know if I can.”

“What’s stopping you? You owe them nothing. They have used you, lied, and cheated. They have betrayed you the same way ShinRa has betrayed everyone they’ve come in contact with. Now is the time to join the civilian crowd and take a stand against them. We’re the best chance the people on this planet have at stopping them. We can stop the oppression and take the company out once and for all. Then…then you would be a true hero, and your purpose would be protecting life and helping those who don’t have the power to protect themselves.”

“…An interesting proposition…”

“We still have time to change the tides of the war in Wutai. They’re losing now, but maybe they don’t have to. Not with our help.”

“I’ve never been as rebellious as you, Genesis.”

“I wouldn’t call it rebellion. I’d call it taking the side of the truth and goodness.” Sephiroth nodded.

Angeal let out a quiet sigh. “I’ll consider it. It seems Genesis is already set on leaving ShinRa—”

“How much more obvious do I need to be?”

“—What about you Sephiroth?”

“I’m going to stay here a while longer.”

“What madness could be behind that answer?” Genesis asked.

“The time doesn’t feel right yet. I’ll know it when I see it.”

Angeal and Genesis looked at each other before looking back at Sephiroth. Genesis tilted his head slightly to one side before responding.

“Alright. I trust your judgement and expect that sooner than later, you will be joining us and helping our cause in one way or another. We’re all on the same side, you know, the side that wants to live and have the possibility of a future.”

“You will always have my blade and my support. Its not ShinRa that has given me purpose all these years, but my two friends and brothers-in-arms.”

Angeal got to his feet. “You two are right. The actions of ShinRa are horrific and dishonorable. The company may be the hand that feeds us as I said before, yes, but they’ve used us the way they’ve used the planet. They treated us as if we were disposable, to be tossed out when all of our value was used up. No more will they be allowed to commit crimes against the people and the planet.”

“The ever-obedient Angeal,” Genesis grinned. “Disloyal to ShinRa and loyal to the side of justice, is that it?”

“Yes.”

Genesis patted his shoulder. “There’s the Angeal I know.”

“ShinRa didn’t make you monsters, they gave you advantages. Use them.”

“I can only hope you’ll see things that way when you learn the whole truth.”

“So do I.”

-

You shifted in your seat, settling across from Sephiroth. You held your mug close, not filled with coffee this time, but the drink you’d picked out with him. You reflected on how much time you spent sitting with this man in front of the fire. It was the only way you ever met, but you decided you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Did Genesis read the file?” you asked.

“He did, yes.”

“How did it go?”

“About as well as you could expect. He read the whole thing in a night.”

You sighed and rubbed your forehead. “Didn’t I say—”

“You did. Genesis has never been a particularly good listener. He’s a loyal friend, but he does what he wants.”

“And Angeal?”

“He read it too. Also in one night.”

You pursed your lips and took a sip of your drink. “Well then. What’s the outcome from all of this?”

“After Angeal and Genesis had their identity crises, they came to the conclusion that it was in everyone’s best interest for them to leave ShinRa.”

“You don’t say?”

Sephiroth simply nodded.

“Will you be joining them?”

“Not yet, but I know it’s only a matter of time. As much as I may try to ignore the signs or deny what will happen, I know I’m bound to go through what they just experienced. There are similarities between our stories, and I can’t help but start to draw conclusions of how my own origin story will end.”

You were silent for a moment. Sephiroth noticed your reluctance to speak right away.

“Are you a human, Sephiroth?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Tell me. Are you a human?”

“What else would I be—”

“Yes or no?” you asked sternly.

“Yes.”

“That’s right. Yes, you are. I want you to remember that when you hear the last few reports. We’ve covered nearly everything, but those are going to be very hard to digest. You’ll need to be strong, because it won’t be easy.”

“I told Angeal that despite what he read, he was still a human. I thought he was simply overwhelmed with the information and was lost in the moment, yet here you are asking me the same thing. Is my story similar to Angeal’s?”

“It’s much more extreme. That’s what scares me.”

“I see.”

You bit your lip. You’d known all along how things were going to go. You knew that you’d spoon-feed Sephiroth bits of information about himself, and after so long, you’d eventually tell him everything. What happened after that hadn’t mattered nor had you given it much thought, but now that the end was near, you started to wonder. What WOULD happen afterwards? Would he visit you again? Would he stay at ShinRa and act like nothing happened? Would he suddenly turn against you, driven mad by the reality of his existence? You weren’t sure when it happened, but you had started to care for him. It went beyond wanting him to be well when you eventually parted ways.

You enjoyed his company even when he said nothing at all. Often times, after giving him more news from Project S, he’d simply sit and think, silence taking over the room. You were happy to have those moments, the two of you sitting together, watching the fire, and enjoying the present. You found yourself comparing the two of you to an old, married couple more than once; comfortable with each other’s company and content with just enjoying the other’s existence.

You were thrilled every time he brought you something even if you didn’t articulate it well. It didn’t matter if it was coffee mix or that mug he’d replaced, because the fact that he was thinking about you made your heart flutter. He was thoughtful, more so than the brainless SOLDIER stereotype would’ve had people believe.

His very presence was intoxicating. His aura was powerful and dangerous, like being around a wild animal – strong and unbroken, at times, unpredictable – and that was the alluring part. The more dangerous, the more exciting, despite your best efforts to convince yourself otherwise. He was all of these things, and yet, around you, he also seemed strangely gentle. You hadn’t seen him around others before, but you imagined that the gentle side didn’t come out often. He was ShinRa’s top SOLDIER after all. The tender side made you feel warm and fuzzy while the occasional sharp gaze from him made you feel as though you’d been electrocuted and were being hunted by a predator. Frankly, you liked this juxtaposition, but were pretty confused as to why.

It didn’t hurt that he was stunning to look at either. You’d have been lying if you said he wasn’t the most beautiful man alive. His sharp, yet delicate features looked as though they had been sculpted by an artist, topped with a beautiful crown of silver hair. You hadn’t decided yet if it was liquid metal or a harnessed storm. It seemed to change by the day. His muscular build, naturally, had been bestowed upon him by the Goddess to help serve him in whatever quests awaited him in life. You internally sighed at the thought. You had to admit, while Sephiroth was learning his true backstory, you were making up a much more interesting one for him.

And now, the future was uncertain. There was a chance that you could lose him, lose any opportunity to make new memories with him. You hadn’t been entirely honest with Sephiroth. You were _terrified_ of becoming just a memory to this man. What would you do then? Your previous choices, though you didn’t regret them, had led you to your current isolated state. Whether you liked it or not, he was your lifeline, your sole companion at present. Your insecurities and fears were rudely making themselves known, and you’d had to start acknowledging the fact that even though you enjoyed being alone, you often felt lonely.

And you _hated_ it.

You hated that this was your fear. It made you feel weak and needy at times when you knew you were supposed to be strong and self-reliant. It was human nature to be social and crave conversation, but that didn’t reassure you. You hated that you put so much weight and responsibility on this unknowing soul who’d entered your life, and that the reality of being alone again was becoming more likely by the day.

What would you do when your sole savior was gone?

That was another part of Sephiroth you admired.

You both displayed strength, but you also both had very real insecurities and fears that sometimes got the better of you. You were both lonely and while you were uncertain of the future, he was uncertain of the past. Your stories were drastically different, but you liked that despite his perfect hair, his perfectly chosen words, the perfectly paced steps he took when he walked, he was not perfect. It reminded you so much of yourself, and you took comfort in the fact that no one was free of flaws. It was the human part of him that you loved so much.

…Loved?

Yeah.

Loved was the right word for it.

Maybe you could be broken but strong together.

You’d hardly paid any mind to Sephiroth while you thought about all of this. He was watching the flames in the fireplace thoughtfully. You wondered what was on his mind.

“Was there anything you wanted me to share with you today?” You asked, finally breaking the silence.

He shook his head. “No. I think I need a ‘day off’ from Project S if you will.”

“I understand. That sounds like a good idea.”

There was more silence as Sephiroth pulled his eyes from the fire and back to you.

“What about me finishing the Project S file scares you?”

You should’ve known he’d narrow in on that sentence. Keen as ever.

“I’m concerned about your well-being.”

“That’s not the reason.”

“What do you mean it’s not? I’m a doctor, aren’t I? Doctors may not be obligated to care about their patients, but I wouldn’t have made such a scene about all of this if I didn’t care. I could’ve just given you the entire thing and let you walk away with it.”

“There’s something else. Something you’re not telling me.”

“Like what? I said I cared about you. What else is there to know?” You down your mug on the table as your grip tightened, remembering Sephiroth shattering his. Was that cherished memory already so long ago? How you desperately wanted more of those moments.

“You’re not a good liar.”

“I’ve always valued honesty anyway. I’ve never needed to learn how to lie well.”

“Then be honest with me now. What aren’t you telling me? Or shall I start guessing?”

You swallowed a lump in your throat. You weren’t sure you’d ever share these feelings you had with him, yet here he was, prying. You should’ve felt relieved, given the opportunity to tell him everything, but you wanted to close up and shut him out, keeping your secrets to yourself.

“I mean…I guess there is something else.”

Sephiroth waited for you to respond. He wasn’t going to give you one bit of wiggle room here, was he? It was apparent he wanted an answer, and a very particular one.

“I’ve just been thinking too much is all. What will happen afterwards? I like it when you visit me, and I actually look forward to it now unlike when we started. I’m worried that once the file is entirely disclosed, I won’t be of use anymore.”

“I’m not satisfied with that response.”

“What?!”

Sephiroth leaned close, his hard stare catching you off guard. You moved back a bit as he moved forward. You were pretty sure this was the first time you’d ever wavered under his scrutinizing gaze, but you couldn’t calm your racing heart. If you weren’t completely red-faced yet, you would be in mere seconds.

“I want a real answer.”

“ILOVEYOU,” you half-screamed, half-declared to the prying man.

Welp. That wasn’t at all how you were expecting that to go.

“I love you, and I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to forget about me after this. I don’t want my only value to have been reading you that file. I want my value to be more than that, and I want to keep you in my life.”

Sephiroth searched your face, though you weren’t sure what for.

“Hmm. That’s what I thought.”

“You ass! Bullying an answer out of me!” You feigned being angry but couldn’t bring yourself to be upset with him. You were embarrassed by your cowardice more than anything.

His gaze softened and he chuckled quietly. “I do like to pry.”

You let out a hiss. “NO KIDDING.”

“That’s what you call this feeling? Love?”

You tried to put a semi-professional face back on. “Yes, love.”

“Then my own assessment was correct.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked

“It means I correctly identified my own feelings for you. I love you.”

You almost dropped dead.

“What?!”

“You keep asking ‘what?’ Are you losing your hearing?”

“SEPHIROTH, YOU JERK.”

You couldn’t believe that he was messing with you and that your face could change so many different colors. Sephiroth snorted and grinned, his expression holding a bit of seriousness.

“It took me a little while to figure it out. ShinRa did nothing to teach me to understand my own feelings. It took a lot of self-reflection and mindfulness, but I do believe this is the correct term for what I’m feeling: love. I love you, and before you ask another stupid question, yes, I mean it.”

You slowly relaxed and melted into a warm smile.

“I love you too, Sephiroth.”

“That makes me happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll have the next chapter out much faster than this one, I promise. :'D


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